Tales of a Left Brain

on Love and Valentine's and Jesus.

2012-02-12T15:20:00.003-05:00

Up until I was 10ish, I thought I would have a boyfriend by age 12. I mean, when you're 12, you're THERE. Totally grown up. Right?

As I got closer to 12, I realized this was not the case after all, and heightened the age to 14.

About 6 months away from turning 14, I quickly upped it to 16.

At 16, I gave up trying to figure it out.

Quite honestly, now at 17, I fight an eternal war between my inner cynic who ridicules romance and mushy love and my inner romantic who is ready to find "the one". Not only because the two ends of the spectrum don't exactly get along so well, but also because balance is essential, and I'm not quite there yet.

Why am I posting about this now, you may wonder?

answer.

Yes, my friends, it's that wonderful time of the year. Where the couples get even more unbearably sickening, and the singles spam the Facebook news feed about "S.A.D. (Singleness Awareness Day). Or, you're like me and mock it all, because sarcasm > self-pity. :D Whatever your case may be, Valentine's day typically brings up thoughts of romance and love for everyone.

This year, I've been fighting more than ever to break the norm of wishing for what I don't have, and instead be thankful for what I do. I've come to the realization that, again and again, I search for satisfaction in worldly things. But they never satisfy. I was really hit this morning by a well-known quote from John Piper.

"God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him."

Boom. There it is. How many of us claim to want to glorify God with our lives, then turn around and complain about the fact that we only have an iPhone 3Gs instead of the 4s? Or how we're FOREVER ALONE and will NEVER have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Or how, if we could only have ______, we'd be content forever.

How many of us actually pursue satisfaction in Christ and Christ alone? I know I'm guilty of abandoning this pursuit all the time.

This isn't an unusual post for Valentine's day; in fact, I'm sure it's rather common. But it's been on my heart for a bit and especially today.

The ultimate point of this post is to issue a challenge to those who claim to want to glorify God. For those who are looking for true satisfaction. No matter your current relationship status, I dare you to passionately pursue Christ above all. Get to know Him. Take time every day to talk to Him, to tell Him what's going on in Your life, and to ask Him for help. Take time to listen to Him, through His word and what He lays on your heart. Let go of your desires for His. Because aren't these things what any good relationship is founded on?

Glorify God through finding total satisfaction in Him. What's the upside for you? Christ is the only pursuit that will never stop satisfying.

Seek first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

I'm taking the challenge. Will you?

{The world may try, but it can never fill. So leave it all behind, and come to the Well.}

Our Hope Has a Name

2011-12-25T14:32:00.005-05:00

Every year, Christmas seems to have just a little more significance to me than the last year. Maybe it's a sign of [gasp] maturity; maybe it's a deeper understanding of fallen I am and how perfect Jesus was. All throughout this year, in the highs and lows, the struggles and victories, the laughter and the tears, I've discovered what an irony our hope is. How the ultimate punishment brought ultimate peace. How incomprehensible yet simple that is. But that's not the point of my post today [see last post for more on that].

In learning more about the significance of Christ's birth, a big lesson I've learned is how everything in the Old Testament points to Him. The one that struck me in particular last night was from the prophecy in Isaiah 9. Verse 2 prophecies, "The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned."

At this point, the Israelites had no idea who this light was or when He would come. They knew no name. They only knew the mysterious hope of Him coming some day.

Today, we know Who that light is. Today, we celebrate having had that knowledge for 2,011 years. Today, our hope has a name, and His name is Jesus.

Ephesians 5:14 mirrors Isaiah 9:2. But the beauty of it is that this time, the Light is named.

“Wake up, sleeper,

rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.”

Remember not only today, but throughout the year, what a privilege it is to know Who the light is. That we know His name and can know the peace He brings. That our hope is not simply a dream, but a tangible existence.

Merry Christmas. Jesus, our redemption, has come.

His beloved

2011-12-12T14:21:00.002-05:00

For the first time in months, she felt Jesus' presence right by her.

She sat quietly and bowed her head. "Jesus, how can You want me? I have run so far from You..."

He put His arms around her lovingly. "My darling," He whispered, "look at My arms. What do you see?"

"I see scars, Jesus. Why do You have so many scars?"

"They were for you, My child. I took your every sin, your every sadness, and your every despair. I did everything for you. There was no punishment or burden left that I did not take and completely remove from you. Because I love you."

He looked into her eyes gently. "I took every pain possible to the point of death to call you My own. So how, beloved, could you think I don't want you?"

"Reach in and touch My scars, and know the price I paid for your heart."

-"Any Other Way", Tenth Avenue North

^"Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed."

-Isaiah 53:4-5

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

-Romans 5:8

Coffee: Friend or Foe?

2011-10-08T13:23:00.003-04:00

[note: this is semi-satirical. xD]

When one mentions coffee, responses towards the drink vary between passionate affection and passionate hate. Many people, including myself, find coffee a very normal and necessary part of daily life. That first cup stimulates the beginning of the day in unmatchable ways. Imagining not having it paints a gloomy picture of life for us coffee lovers. Potential symptoms of coffee withdrawal in those who frequently drink it include constant fatigue, depression, an unusual craving for bold flavors, and, in rare or prolonged cases, death. However, on the other end of this drastically long spectrum reside the coffee haters. These people hold fast to their firm belief that the devil personally brews each pot of coffee. Coffee haters can barely stand the scent of coffee, and the idea of actually putting that form of liquid into their mouths repulses them to the point of nausea. This debate continues on, and resolution only finds itself in this: the two will never agree about the nature or necessity of coffee.

Hope Among Loss

2011-09-23T11:43:00.004-04:00

Posting my first paper of the school year. I think this is going to be a new tradition. ;) I wrote this paper for my first Advanced Composition class assignment, and several people asked me to post it on my blog. Enjoy. :)

Summer: one might best describe it as a time to do that which school prevents. For my friends and me, this summer fit that description perfectly. Some of us planned to attend camps, others to work at camps or various jobs, and others still to do absolutely nothing. God must have smiled when He heard these intentions, knowing that He had written different, yet greater plans for them. Experiencing a loved one's death fit into His sovereign will for the people close to me as well as myself. Two beloved individuals, Jimmy Brazell and Mary Davis, went home to heaven. Through these unexpected deaths this summer, God taught me both the truth of our life's frailty and the power of His eternal strength.

At the young age of nineteen, Chandler "Jimmy" Brazell's entire life had shone for Christ in a passionate, un-heard of way. He spent much of his short life serving others through leadership positions, including staffing with TeenPact Leadership Schools and teaching for six months in China. All who knew him expected him to continue serving the Lord for many years. God, however, planned a different story. Shortly after returning from China, Jimmy died in a swimming accident. Having just completed a staffing job at a TeenPact camp with two of my friends, he swam under a waterfall and never came up. Daniel's CPR and Skyler's desperate attempt to call for help made no difference. Bodily death won. Shock and grief barely begin to describe the emotions felt by so many, especially those present when he died. Yet even through death, God used Jimmy to bring His children closer to each other and to Him. While mourning the end of an earthly life, these people learned the raw truth of how His love endures forever.

Only the term "Christ-like" sufficiently describes my beloved grandmother, Mary Davis. In contrast to Jimmy's short life, Mary, also known as Mimi, lived a long life of eighty-five years. Spending every one of those years living and loving as Jesus taught, her life impacted every person she encountered for the better. Mimi never spent a day of her life serving herself, but rather those around her. During every visit, she pampered her grandchildren in every way imaginable. With her "make something out of nothing" mindset, she only denied us one thing: boredom. As Mimi aged, her mind followed suit. Her last years found her occupied by serving those in the assisted living place where she lived. After a brief but harsh illness this August, Jesus called her home to live with Him, her husband, and her baby boy. Pain from Mimi's sudden absence hit the family hard. That grief, however, came mixed with a pure joy in knowing that she finally resided at Home. My family fully believes that her Savior met her with a shining crown saying, "Well done, My good and faithful servant."

What lesson, then, springs from these losses? Plans go awry, lives end, hearts break. How does God use these things for good? Through death, He made it evident to me that He indeed allows hearts to break for a specific purpose. Brokenness, pain, and loss all lead His children into a deeper relationship with Him. He also strengthens our faith in Him through these trials. Death this summer taught me to hope in two things: the assurance of eternal life for those saved through Jesus, and His steadfast love through these earthly trials.

For lack of a better title: Identity.

2011-07-27T12:18:00.008-04:00

"I can't act like I feel right now.. but I can't act like I don't care, either.. but if I act normally, it'll look overdone.. WHAT DO I DOOOOO?"

Do you ever feel like that?

How do I act in this situation?

Sometimes, we over-think things WAY too much. I know I have the tendency to do that.

My question is this: why do we feel the pressure to act?

Our world revolves so much around fakeness. We pretend we're happy when we're down. We pretend we care when really we could care less. Or on the flip side, we pretend to be indifferent, when actually, whatever it is matters a lot.

I ask again: why are we so scared to be honest?

The answer is judgement. We are so.scared.of.being.judged. We feel pressure to be perfect in the eyes of others, because anything less isn't good enough.

I have news for you.

Nobody is perfect.

You are as messed up as the person you're afraid will judge you. Everyone has problems. Everyone struggles. No person is exempt from that.

Only one person was ever perfect. Most of us in the Christian community have heard this a million times, and skim over it. "yeahyeah, Jesus was perfect. duh. we know this, Abby." But if you are a believer, you need to realize what exactly that means.

If you believe that Christ took your sins because He loved you, that means your identity is found in Him and Him alone. Because you have been crucified with Christ, you are no longer yourself, but Christ in you. Nothing and nobody can define you except Jesus Christ. Actions cannot define you. Sin cannot define you. Other people cannot define you. Only Jesus.

Do you realize the significance of this?

It means that we don't have to be who anyone else wants us to be.

It means we are free to be ourselves.

[and I think there's a song about that, but I don't know it. haha.]

We are under no pressure to be who others wants us to be, because our identity is rock solid. Our identity is Jesus. As long as we are conforming to our identity in Him [becoming more and more like Him every day], we are totally, 100% free to be ourselves.

Am I the only one who finds this absolutely freeing?

Goodbye, pressure to listen to cool music.

Goodbye, pressure to have stylish clothes.

Goodbye, pressure to watch or read things "just because everyone else does".

Heck, goodbye, having to fit any standard set by human beings.

Hello, Jesus.

Welcome to my allegorical mind.

2011-06-06T12:26:00.005-04:00

Rarely do I get the inspiration to write stories. Even more rarely do I finish them. Last night, however, my allegorical mind collided with a sudden urge to write my thoughts. Here we have the end result. Enjoy. :)

Slowly, her eyes opened—and that's when her heart froze. The beeping she heard wasn't only in her dream. It resounded throughout the house. Then she smelled it and knew the horrific truth. Her house was burning.

Trying to breathe through the fumes, she dazedly clutched the two things she always claimed she would take with her in case of a fire: her cell phone and her teddy bear. "But wait," she panicked, "what about my Bible? My favorite t-shirt? My purse? No..." All of these treasured items swirled around in her mind as she found herself gasping for breath.

It was then that she felt her little brother's hand grabbing hers, shouting for her to get out. She had no choice. She had to leave the things which she held so dearly to be burnt to a crisp. As soon as she was out of the room, her brother let go of her hand. He ran madly into the chaos in an attempt to save himself, leaving her to fend for herself.

She ran blindly among the leaping flames, disoriented and unsure of how to get out. Her daddy would know how to get out...where was he? Why didn't he come to save her? Dropping to her knees with a small cry of desperation, all determination to escape to freedom left her. She curled up weakly, waiting for the flames to consume her. Just as everything around her began fading to black, she felt herself lifted by strong arms and carried out the inferno.

Fresh night air invaded her lungs like a slap. She jerked back to consciousness, and then realized she was still in the strong arms. Curiously, she looked up at the man who held her. Her father looked down and smiled softly.

"Daddy," she whispered. "Why didn't you come and save me before? I couldn't find you anywhere."

"Darling child," he spoke into her ear, "all you had to do was call to me."

"But Daddy, all of my things are gone. Do you see the house? It all burned away. Daddy...everything I loved is gone..." Her eyes welled up with tears.

He looked deeply into her eyes. "You have indeed lost it all, precious daughter. But you are safe here in my arms. You have me and I you, and I will never let you go."

She looked back into his eyes and was satisfied. He had saved her; he would never leave her. He was all she needed.

"Out of my distress I called on the LORD; the LORD answered me and set me free." -Psalm 118:5

"But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him..." -Philippians 3:7-9a

Love so amazing.

2011-04-22T12:19:00.003-04:00

I'm keeping the post today short and sweet. Not a bad thing, right? ;)

Today, we remember the most the most horrendous thing that occurred in all of creation. Ironically, it was also the most beautiful. So much paradox. So much Love. <3

"But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed."

-Isaiah 53:5

"Love so amazing, so divine, demands my soul, my life, my all."

TPS Poem, take two.

2011-04-13T15:25:00.001-04:00

The Potter's School

My friend said something of his school;

I asked him where it met.

"You'll never guess; it is so cool!

"My class is on the web!"

My first class, led by Ms. Mac

Introduced Biology.

She taught the scientific facts

Of living things all around me.

Spanish One and English Three

Fed us full of language tools.

Like the horrid, evil verbs of BE,

And many conjugation rules.

Somehow, between my homework time,

I surprisingly found out

That awesome friends can be online

Despite the world's great doubt.

Now the school year ends, you see,

Bringing summer and the pool.

But always important to me

Will be The Potter's School.

Scripture dissection: Galatians 2:20

2011-03-14T00:56:00.003-04:00

I'm starting a new series of a sort. Scripture dissection. It may not last that long, or it may last for months. Like much of my life, I'm playing it by ear. :)

First on the list is one I have thought about a lot recently.

Galatians 2:20 [ESV]- "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

I had a long mental dissertation planned for this one but later discovered that it was not needed, thanks to my ESV Study Bible. This is exactly all of what I was going to say [and much more profoundly stated!]. Read, enjoy, and remember who you are.

"I have been crucified with Christ. Paul's former "self", the person Paul was before he trusted Christ, with all of his sinful goals and proud, self-exalting desires, came to a decisive end--he "died." It is no longer I who live does not mean that Paul has no personality of his own (all his writings show that he does) but that his own personal interests and goals no longer direct his life; rather, Christ who lives in me now directs and empowers all that he does. How does he, as a "crucified man", gain any strength to go on living? the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God. Paul seems to be saying that, as he trusts Christ moment by moment, Christ then works in and through Paul to give spiritual effectiveness to all that he does. who loved me and gave himself for me. The fact that on the cross Jesus bore believers' sins as their person, individual substitute (he...for me") shows that the crucifixion was not an impersonal, mechanical transaction, but a personal expression of Christ's love for people as individuals."

-ESV Study Bible

Blessings.

2011-03-08T00:51:00.002-05:00

Thanks to my friend Jordan for pointing me to this song. [lyrics underneath]

"Blessings" - Laura Story

We pray for blessings

We pray for peace

Comfort for family, protection while we sleep

We pray for healing, for prosperity

We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while, You hear each spoken need

Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You’re near

What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom

Your voice to hear

And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near

We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love

As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

All the while, You hear each desperate plea

But long we'd have the faith to believe

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You’re near

And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us

When darkness seems to win

We know the pain reminds this heart

That this is not, this is not our home

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

And what if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You’re near

What if my greatest disappointments

Or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy

And what if trials of this life

The rain, the storms, the hardest nights

Are your mercies in disguise

Romans 8:28

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."

Times.

2011-03-06T01:24:00.003-05:00

"I hear You say,

"My love is over. It's underneath.

It's inside. It's in between.

The times you doubt Me, when you can't feel.

The times that you question, 'Is this for real?'

The times you're broken.

The times that you mend.

The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.

Well, My love is over, it's underneath.

It's inside, it's in between.

These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks.

The times that you feel like you're falling from grace.

The times you're hurting.

The times that you heal.

The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.

The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.

I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.

I'm there through your heartache.

I'm there in the storm.

My love I will keep you, by My pow'r alone.

I don't care where you fall, where you have been.

I'll never forsake you, My love never ends.

It never ends."

--"Times", Tenth Avenue North

Break? What a concept.

2011-03-03T10:37:00.000-05:00

Winter break. Ahh, sweet freedom from schoolwork. This year, however, we made it into anything but a break.

February 19th-23rd: Mom and I traveled to Phoenix, where I got to spend time with both of my brothers and their families (a rare occurrence). The two of us took care of all 5 grandchildren [under the age of 5!] from the 21st-22nd while the parents traveled to the Grand Canyon. It was a mixture of a complete blast and utter exhaustion. All in all though, I had a great time of being both little sis and Aunt Abby. :) [photo- me and all five. Left to right: Mia, Sophia, Stephan, Marcus, and Addy.]

February 24th-27th: After a one night stop at home, Dad joined us and we made our way up to sunny, warm, beautiful Attleboro, MA. Okay, so maybe it stayed around freezing the majority of the time, and yeah, it snowed and was wet. Thankfully, our reason for being there was not for the weather, but rather to visit my best friend, Lizzie. We had an extraordinarily fabulous time just being together. Random adventures [the grocery store is the best place for inside jokes, no lie], hilarious family dinners [with Dad, Aaron, and Andrew, who needs TV?], and just general chillaxin' with this amazing girl made our long weekend an unforgettable one.

And for Sarah's sake, I will say absolutely nothing about the "other side of the curtain". ;)

[photo- me and Lizzie.]

All in all, while this break was packed and didn't have much "break" time, it was an amazing gift from God. :)

Mission: Let Your Love Be Strong.

2011-02-21T18:26:00.003-05:00

Anyone who has ever talked to me or stalked me most likely knows that my favoritest band in the world is Switchfoot. Their music calms me down, pumps me up, soothes my heart when it's hurting, inspires me to do the same for others, and ultimately sets me on fire for God.

I think best when I'm exercising and listening to music. This occurred this afternoon. Thus, this blog post has arrived. :)
--
It's really easy to get caught up in the bad side life, isn't it? To look at the little things and get upset, instead of looking at the big picture of God's grace and blessings in our lives. We love to create a box of pity in which we sit, and often don't have any interest in climbing out.

Or maybe that's just me.

Regardless, I've found a song that inspires me to get out of the box and leave my comfort zone of self-pity. These lyrics have truly reminded me how we should live our lives as Christ who is in us.

"Let the wars begin, let my strength wear thin
Let my fingers crack, let my world fall apart
Train the monkeys on my back to fight
Let it start tonight
When my world explodes, when my stars touch the ground
Falling down like broken satellites

Let your love be strong, and I don't care what goes down
Let your love be strong enough to weather through the thunder cloud
Fury and thunder clap like stealing the fire from your skies
All of that I am hanging on
All of my world resting on Your love"

The gist of what this song says is, let the storms come. Let my world fall apart. Let everything go wrong, let life be messed up. Bring it on. Because our lives are not based on our circumstances. Our hope doesn't come from what is going on in life. The Rock on which we stand does not falter, even when this world fails.

I issue this as a challenge to you. Live your life in love, pressing on through any circumstance. Because, my friends, that how we are commanded to live. Love God, love others. Never let the world steal your joy, because this is all temporary.

Let your love be strong, and I don't care what goes down.

Why yes, I am alive.

2011-01-24T14:29:00.015-05:00

By the grace of God. ;)

This Christmas season flew by faster than...well, I won't waste your time with an analogy. It went very quickly. So, to recap:

My nephews came in town around the 13th of December. We definitely had a busy, tiring, but altogether fun and blessed time with them! My sister in law Rachael and niece Sophia joined us later that week, adding to the business and fun. [photo: Marcus & Stephan watching "Bob the Builder" very intently.]

My piano teacher held a recital for her students on December 19th. It could have gone better for me personally, but overall it went very smoothly. [photo- me post recital. Yes, I am holding something behind my back. Long story. :P]

The next day, we left in two vans for Virginia! One contained Dad, Rachael, and the kids, heading to Richmond. Mom and I took the other one up to Danny's.

Mom and I discovered that dullness in no way, shape, or form factors into a road trip with two women. Between going the wrong direction on I-285 in Atlanta, trying to figure out 77 & 81 & Route 7, and almost getting in a serious accident (twice), we were just thankful to have made it by the time we got to Ashburn.

Just a few days later, Angela and I went to see Voyage of the Dawn Treader with a big group of my friends up there. I realized later that everyone present except for Lydia and Katie [we still love you two though] are/were TPSers. Win? I think yes. [photo- the group, minus CindyF. Left to right: KellyD, EmilyA, Me, JulieD, LydiaB, KatieD, PeterV, and NathanV.]

I then went with with Julie to Em's house where we spent the night. Needless to say...it was amazing. Between long talks, making hot kool aid, a random run to Wal-Mart with our big cameras [why? because we can.], and proving to them that my mother does indeed exist, it was an amazing time.

...EXCEPT.

These two lovely ladies gave me the H1N1 virus. [well, the point of origin has been disputed, but I blame it on them. ;) ] Yes, ladies and gents, I can now officially say that I've survived the Swine Flu. It wasn't THE most exciting thing to wake up and find on Christmas morning, but it certainly wasn't the end of the world. And I had a Switchfoot merch pack, as well as some other cool gifts, that certainly made up for it. =) [photo- my new rockin' Switchfoot tee :D]

After recovering from an overabundance of snorting [ahem...bad, bad joke], we had Chris, Rachael, and their three at our house for a little while. Lots of crazy fun ensued, and I was thankful for the time we were able to be together. We also got to keep Sophia for a few days after Chris & Rachael and the boys left. I think I'm overusing the adjective "fun", so I'll say it was sweetness. :) [photo- Sophia and Grandpa]

And to wrap up this long post, Dad took Sophia home, school got back into full swing, I relapsed with sickness right when it snowed [that's just how it always happens], and I can officially say that I survived the first semester of this school year!

So, there's my recent life in a nutshell.

TPSers, pardon the BE verbs. ;)

Soli Deo Gloria!

[Imperfection]+[Life]=This post.

2010-12-11T01:47:00.008-05:00

I haven't posted in a while.

Could you tell?

Sometime I wonder why I really don't post that often.

Why?

I don't think of enough inspiring things to say?

I'm afraid that I'm gonna post something dumb?

What I have to say is not worth your time?

Dear readers, dear world: I'm going to stop hiding behind my internet mask.

I'm not perfect.

I'm not amazingly brilliant.

Just because I might write inspiring things doesn't mean that's how I live my life 24/7.

To be honest, I'm really just an idiot sometimes.

But then I look around me.

Is there anyone who isn't all of these? Name one, ONE person for me, other than Jesus Christ, who has ever been perfect, 100% brilliant, never has stupid moments.. etc.

Am I completely rambling? Or do you see what I'm saying?

It's okay to be imperfect.

We are fallen, struggling humans. But by the grace of God, we are no longer trapped in that fallenness.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." -2 Corinthians 5:17

Don't pretend you're perfect. Real people don't like fake ones.

There's my inspiringness for the day. ;)

I've realized that never write about my life. What's going on. So in case anyone actually wants to know these things: since mid-September, it has pretty much been devoured by school. [Thank you, TPS and CollegePlus!] I also got to meet the one and only Lizzie Filipe back in October! THAT was incredibly amazing, and probably deserves a post of its own soon. Our church hunt continues, but I have confidence that "all the way my Savior leads me". I'm fighting a lovely and oh-so-persistent cold. [give thanks in ALL things.. :P] From December 13th-January 5th[ish], my life will be entirely devoured by nieces, nephews, brothers, sisters, and friends. And I'm not opposed to this plan in the least. ;) [I just have to scream to the world how excited I am that I'll be spending a few days with my amazing friends Julie and Em!! :D] This is going to be one fun, busy, awesome, and blessed Christmas.

God is good. Always.

And on that note, I will end this long ramble.

Don't be afraid to post ramblings. People want to know you. Even if that includes randomness like this.

TWLOHA day 2010

2010-11-12T01:16:00.008-05:00

My awesome friend Jordan wrote a post recently on TWLOHA [To Write Love on Her Arms], so I won't spend the time explaining it. [the post is here] Here is their mission statement:

"To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery."

Today is "To Write Love on Her Arms day", where thousands of people across the globe will literally write "love" on their arms. In honor of that, I decided to share some inspiring words from my favorite band, the TWLOHA vision, and the Bible.

[and I apologize for having had two posts back-to-back that are full of quotes. Someday I'll actually write a post that's completely written by me. Until then...enjoy the quotes. :) ]

"Maybe redemption has stories to tell, maybe forgiveness is right where you fell. Where can you run to escape from yourself? Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go? Salvation is here."

"Dreaming about Providence and whether mice or men have second tries...maybe we've been livin' with our eyes half open, maybe we're bent and broken. We were meant to live for so much more."

"John Perkins said it right, love is the final fight. Let it rise above, rise above. There is no sound louder than love."

"We are miracles, and we're not alone."

"Free, come set me free. Down on my knees, I still believe You can save me from me."

"The stars are alive, they dance to the music of the deepest emotions. And all of the world is singing in time, as the heavens are caving in. Mysterious ways, why God gave His life to put motion inside my soul. It's bigger than cold religion, it's bigger than life. Love is the movement, love is a revolution. This is redemption...we don't have to slow back down."

"Yesterday is dead and over. This is your life, and today is all you've got now. Yeah, and today is all you'll ever have. Don't close your eyes, don't close your eyes. This is your life, are you who you want to be?"

"We often ask God to show up. We pray prayers of rescue. Perhaps God would ask us to be that rescue, to be His body, to move for things that matter. He is not invisible when we come alive. I might be simple but more and more, I believe God works in love, speaks in love, is revealed in our love."

"You were created to love and be loved. You were meant to live life in relationship with other people, to know and be known. You need to know that your story is important and that you're part of a bigger story. You need to know that your life matters."

"The vision is the possibility that your best days are ahead.

The vision is the possibility that we're more loved than we'll ever know.

The vision is hope, and hope is real.

You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story."

"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends."

"In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another."

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing."

"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers."

"So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love."

http://www.twloha.com/vision/

http://talesofaleftbrain.blogspot.com/2010/08/so-what-is-love.html

http://loveislouder.com/

Because I don't write enough randomness.

2010-11-01T21:19:00.003-04:00

I sat down at my computer, fully prepared to edit and submit an essay. I ended up writing a blog post. Oh the many distractions of technology..

Thanks to the experience and insight of my amazing best friend Lizzie, my English papers are submitted a gajillion times better than they originated. In this instance, she mentioned that the word "exist" was a lazy substitute for a BE verb. So, because I'm such a genius, I googled "exist synonyms". The website I used (http://thesaurus.com/) had "related searches" on a sidebar. I normally don't look twice at those things, but this one caught my eye. Twice it said something to the effect of, "does God exist?" Of course, this got my brain going. I believe unfalteringly that God exists. But (thinking to myself), wasn't there some awesome quote about proof that God exists?? New tab, google "quotes about God existing". I found a web page that gave me not one, but a LOT of amazing quotes.

So the point of this randomness (see:title) is to share some of the best of these. Take a minute to read at least the ones I've shared, if not all of them...they're encouraging/thought provoking.

Enjoy!

[anddd back to my essay I go.]

A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell.C.S. LewisThe loneliest moment in life is when you have just experienced that which you thought would deliver the ultimate, and it has just let you down.Ravi ZachariasI do not feel obliged to believe that same God who endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect had intended for us to forgo their use.GalileoThe greatest act of faith takes place when a man finally decides that he is not God.Johann Wolfgang GoethePracticing psychiatry without faith in God is like meeting a hungry man and giving him a toothpick.Author UnknownAim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.C.S. LewisI believe in Christianity as I believe that the Sun has risen, not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else. [note from Abby-this is the one I was originally thinking about. :) ]C.S. LewisWhatsoever is good for God's children they shall have it, for all is theirs to further them to heaven; therefore, if poverty be good, they shall have it; if disgrace be good, they shall have it; if crosses be good, they shall have them; if misery be good, they shall have it; for all is ours, to serve for our greatest good.Richard SibbesFor when we cease to worship God, we do not worship nothing, we worship anything.G. K. ChestertonHow often we look upon God as our last and feeblest resource! We go to him because we have nowhere else to go. And then we learn that the storms of life have driven us, not upon the rocks, but into the desired haven.George Macdonald--Here's the link, if you want to see more..http://www.proofthatgodexists.org/favourite-quotes.php

Know.

2010-10-19T23:23:00.004-04:00

You smile your smile

You brighten my day

But is it sincere?

Are you really okay?

Your eyes penetrate me

Your love is so sweet

But the happiness you give

Is not a two-way street.

Your chains hold you tightly

You can't see the light

The hope seems to fade

You're losing your fight.

I love you so much

It kills me to see

That your PB says

You'll never be free.

These lies are horrendous

They'll never be true

But you'll only know this

When you believe it too.

You are beautiful

You can be free

You are so loved

Starting with me.

You are worth more than gold

This world needs your life

If I didn't have you

There would be no more light.

For you I pray

This prayer of love

I send it to heaven

Like a silvery dove

Break her chains

Heal her scars

Fill her heart with truth

Not this trash from Mars.

His name is a strong tower

My dear, run to Him.

He says to be still

And know.

Know.

He is God.

In Jesus' Name.

I wrote this poem tonight for a girl I love so very dearly. But after I wrote it, I realized--do we truly have a Biblical knowledge of who God is? How can I tell someone to "be still and know" if we don't truly understand who it is we're knowing about?

Another amazing friend of mine, MaryAnna, sent me a letter a while back describing who God is, with verses to back those statements up. I've planned on posting that for a while anyway, but it seemed to click well with this poem of mine.

This is God. Be still and know who He is.

God is--

Love [1 John 4:7-12, John 3:16, John 15:9]

Peace [John 14:27, Romans 8:6, 2 Thessalonians 3:16]

Light [Psalm 27:1, John 8:12, Revelation 22:5]

Refuge [Psalm 46:1, Psalm 61:3]

Faithful [Deuteronomy 7:9, 1 John 1:9, 1 Corinthians 10:13]

Compassionate [Psalm 103:13, Exodus 22:27, James 5:11]

Merciful [Psalm 103:8, Matthew 5:7, Luke 6:36]

Wise [1 Corinthians 1:25, Luke 2:52]

Sovereign [1 Timothy 6:15, Psalm 24:1]

Forgiving [Mark 2:7, Psalm 25:18, Jeremiah 31:34]

Comforting [2 Corinthians 1:4, Psalm 23:4, Isaiah 66:13]

Creator [Genesis 1:1, Romans 8:19]

Strong [Psalm 18:1, Psalm 28:7, Matthew 11:28]

Help [Psalm 121:1, Psalm 18:6]

So the next time you are challenged, next time you're going through any kind of struggle, big or small--be still and know that He is God, and know who exactly He is.

Walking With God through a Joyful Noise

2010-10-04T19:27:00.002-04:00

This is my very first paper for my English 3 class with TPS, and I thought I'd share it. The message truly reflects much of my heart, so don't look at it as simply a 5 paragraph essay...try to see it as a more formal expression of my heart. :) Enjoy!

"Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and cannot remain silent." This quote by Victor Hugo truly sums up my passion for music. My walk with God has deepened significantly because of His gift of music. Whether through singing, listening, or reading, music touches my soul and accentuates my desire to glorify Christ. Psalm 98:4 says, "Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth; break forth into joyous song and sing praises!" The creation of music was for the purpose of praising God and encouraging His followers, and we should treat it as such. God uses music in various ways to help me escape the pressures of the world and focus on the eternal.

Singing brings me a joy that few other activities can match. While others may find the act of singing the typical, generic, potentially boring way of worship, I find my sincerest praise is lifted up through song. For some, artistry or poetry expresses their love for God. For some, flying an airplane fills them with a magnificent enthusiasm for Christ. However, singing is truly my most passionate form of worship. The world and its troubles suddenly become purged from my mind, and I think of nothing but my Savior's love for me. This activity helps me focus on Christ and His glory, and helps me ignore the temporal. Truly, I love to make a joyful noise to the Lord.

Yet another way of bringing me closer to God lies in the simple act of listening. I relax fully when I can sit back, put my ear buds in, turn the volume up, and listen to God-honoring music. The words and sounds that fill my mind drown out every other care, and I effortlessly concentrate on what is good and true. God has given me an incredible enthusiasm for the works of Switchfoot, a Christian, alternative rock band. He has used them in many ways to convict me. Their music has highlighted to me the important and unimportant things in this world. It often simply reminds me of where my hope lies. God uses Switchfoot and other amazing bands to draw me closer to Him.

A special way in which music affects my walk with God is through the Psalms. Although many do not consider them as such, the Psalms were written as songs. They came about not only as beautiful words of praise, but also as beautiful songs of praise. Powerful truths that lie within these declarations inspire me, convict me, and sustain me. During many times in my life when everything around me seemed broken, God took various Psalms and laid them directly on my heart. His overwhelming truth cannot fade. Despite what has the appearance of an oxymoron, the reading of God's inspired music reminds me of the awesomeness of the Savior we serve.

Music holds a power over me that little else does. It captivates, inspires, and convicts me. God's truth spoken through music greatly assists me in continually drawing closer to and walking with Him. He has a specific plan for music, just as He does for all creation: to bring glory to His name. Whether sung, heard, or read, music influences my life significantly. As I walk through this life with Christ holding my hand, I truly strive to make a joyful noise to my Savior.

Aria.

2010-09-29T09:39:00.010-04:00

Honestly, I couldn't not write about her.

On September 23rd, 2010, a girl who we only know as Aria ended her own life.

We don't know where she lived. We don't know what she looked like. Heck, we don't even know what her real name was.

All we know is that she was a girl who knew no hope in this world. A girl who thought her life was so miserable that the only way to fix it was by death.

Aria was not saved by Jesus Christ. She never knew His redeeming love.

I never talked to her. Never knew much of anything about her until she was gone. But her death has left a huge impact on so many people I know and love dearly.

The questions come..

What if...

I had chatted with her that night?

I had made more of an effort to share the gospel with her?

I had done something?

How could...

She think that's the only option?

She do this to us?

God let this happen?

Will we...

Ever understand?

Ever be healed?

Ever see the sun?

On the 10th, I wrote a post stating that God's love is always. That hope in Him is always. I wrote that at a point in my life where for the most part, everything was good.

I still believe that.

Everything, everything around me is screaming hopelessness. Everything is sobbing "where is God in this?"

But we will scream back in the face of these trials, with broken hearts scream back words like these:

Our God is greater, our God is stronger

God You are higher than any other.

Our God is healer, awesome in power

Our God, our God.

And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us?

And if our God is with us, then what could stand against?

On a personal level, I am reminded so much of Wyatt's death with this. I wonder why God has brought me to this point again. Yet another time where friends who I love so dearly are hurting so badly.

I have no answer to this. I really have no answer to any of these questions, except that God is sovereign and He is using it all for our good and His glory. It hurts, it's so hard to believe, but it's the truth. And all we can do is cling on to that hope until we have passed through this storm.

Goodbye, Aria.

We are reminded that many people are hurting. Wherever you are and whatever you're going through, please know that you are not alone. If you are struggling, please talk to someone. There are good and kind people in this world. There is love to know and beauty to find. You matter beyond words. You are priceless. Your story matters.

Please, don't give up.

http://twloha.com

http://www.hopeline.com/

Always numero dos..

2010-09-25T21:26:00.001-04:00

[to follow-up my last post..]

Always.

2010-09-10T13:40:00.006-04:00

My goodness. I've got a ton to post about. A few new stories, a few ponderings.. so, be on the lookout in the next days/weeks for new stuff. :)

Most of y'all know that last summer, my friend's friend died. Most of y'all know that changed my life. I'm not trying to beat this to death, to keep bringing it up, it simply is a major part of my life that affected me greatly.

During that time, I really learned what it meant to cling to Jesus, to look to Him for hope when all else was gone.

The other day, I talked to a friend who was going through a rough time. I was trying to cheer her up, give her words of encouragement, words of hope. After I sent what I said, I realized that it truly applies to everyone. Anyone who is facing a trial, who is in one now, who is having trouble seeing the sunshine past the storm. And I want to share this word with you.

If you are going through any kind of trouble, a rough time in your life, I want to make you a promise. God will get you through this. There is always hope. Always. Always. Always. There will always be a light at the end of the tunnel...even if you can't see it. Even if the tunnel seems hopelessly long. I've been in that tunnel of darkness, wondering if we'll ever see the light, wondering if we'll ever make it out. But I am living, breathing proof that God brings you through every trial, no matter how big or small.

You may be saying, "there's no way God will get me out of this one. Yeah sure, grief from a death. Everyone gets over that in time. This is different. I'll never be free from this darkness." I would like you to know, that when you say the word never, God smiles and says, "Always". Matthew 19:26 "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

Maybe there's nobody out there that needs to hear this right now. Maybe you're all saying "DUH, Abby. We know this already. Can you tell me something I didn't know?" Maybe you're all wondering why I'm rambling on like this.

Maybe you're apathetic, and don't care that people are going through these difficult times. Don't care that people around you are being swallowed up into darkness.

But maybe, maybe you felt like there was no hope today. Maybe the darkness had totally surrounded you. Maybe you can't see your way out.

Whatever your case may be, please, take this all to heart and keep it there. Whether you need it now or not, store it up for future trials. Because, I guarantee you, they will come.

And if you need someone to hold your hand through the trials, there is no one better than Jesus. Call on him, give the troubles to him, and he will answer.. He will hold you.

To close, I want to quote what a friend of mine said at church last week:

"I want to thank God for being the light when all other lights have gone out."

Lamentations 3:17-33:

17 my soul is bereft of peace;
I have forgotten what happiness is;
18 so I say, “My endurance has perished;
so has my hope from the Lord.”

19 Remember my affliction and my wanderings,
the wormwood and the gall!
20 My soul continually remembers it
and is bowed down within me.
21 But this I call to mind,
and therefore I have hope:

22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
24 “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“therefore I will hope in him.”

25 The Lord is good to those who wait for him,
to the soul who seeks him.
26 It is good that one should wait quietly
for the salvation of the Lord.
27 It is good for a man that he bear
the yoke in his youth.

28 Let him sit alone in silence
when it is laid on him;
29 let him put his mouth in the dust—
there may yet be hope;
30 let him give his cheek to the one who strikes,
and let him be filled with insults.

31 For the Lord will not
cast off forever,
32 but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion
according to the abundance of his steadfast love;
33 for he does not willingly afflict
or grieve the children of men.

National Suicide Prevention Week

2010-09-08T11:07:00.005-04:00

In the United States, one person dies every 16 minutes from suicide.

Suicide is the #3 cause of death for people ages 18-24.

This is National Suicide Prevention week.

What are you doing to save a life?

http://twloha.com
http://ncsponline.org/takefive.html

http://www.groundwire.net/

Amazing Grace

2010-08-30T23:02:00.002-04:00

I wrote a short poem today on a whim.. and decided it was blog-worthy. Enjoy. =)

Feeling so lost

Feeling insecure

A place in the world

She was tryin’ to procure.

Every night with crying tears

End each day with shame and fears.

“Fail, oh fail!” they always said

So much she felt she could be dead.

“There is no hope; I have no joy.

Life is nothing to me but a toy.”

But then one day she found her place

In those saving arms of Amazing Grace.

So, what is love?

2010-08-01T00:34:00.004-04:00

"Love is the movement."

These lyrics come from a Switchfoot song. It is one of my favorite quotes of all time. It is the foundation for my passion to help the hurting. If I were to found an organization [and TWLOHA hadn't already copyrighted it], I would make that sentence my mission statement.

As I was thinking about this one day, it struck me.

What is love?

We talk about it all of the time. We use the word in passing, as a meaningless term. "Oh, I love that ice cream." "She loves New York." But what is it?

Is it a physical thing, such as a hug or a kiss? Is it an emotion, that comes and goes on a whim?

If either of those things were indeed love, my hope in spreading it would be quite empty. These are temporary. These will not last.

What, then, is love?

God has recently brought 1 John 4:7-21 to my attention. Quite frequently. I've been asking, "God, why are you introducing and repeatedly showing this to me?" Perhaps it is not as much for my benefit, but rather for those who ear me profess love but are uncertain as to what I mean by it.

Read verses 9-11:

"9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. 10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another."

The only way to find true love in this world is through the love of God, who gave His son for us. We, in turn, can then reflect the love shown to us to the world.

But in what way can we reflect it?

Consider John 15:13-

"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends."

Now, does this mean we all have to go out and kill ourselves for our friends? Certainly not! I believe this verse is saying to love others before yourself. To sacrifice yourself for their needs.

Lets look at an example of this. Not to sound like a preacher, or to bore you with my long-windedness. No, to see proof, to understand just how this works.

Jan is a diehard John Meyer fan. She listens to him every day on the way to and from work. She owns every CD, every t-shirt, every "live" DvD, every bit of John Meyer paraphernalia she can get her hands on. For her 30th birthday, her husband bought backstage passes to the John Meyer concert close by. This is a once in a lifetime event. She is more pumped than a kid on Christmas Eve.

The day of the concert arrives. She didn't sleep the night before. She spends all day trying to decide what to wear, what she'll say, which of her CD's she's going to have him sign. Suddenly, the phone rings. It's Emma, the pastor's wife. There has been a couple that's new in town visiting their church, Josh and Megan. Emma just got word that Josh was killed in a car accident, and since Megan didn't have many friends, was wondering if Jan could go be with her in this tough time.

Freeze. Jan has two choices. She could say, "oh goodness, that's sad, no, I've got plans, maybe someone else, sorry." But she could also say, "I've got plans but I'll cancel them, where does Megan live?"

[There are a variety of other possible choices, but those are the main ones.]

Which do you think would be an act of love? An act of laying down, sacrificing oneself for a friend?

The answer should be obvious.

Jan told Emma that she would cancel her plans and go sit with Megan.

Today they are best friends.

That one act of love, albeit a very tough one, ultimately made a much more significant impact on God's kingdom than the concert ever could have hoped to do.

To recap what I mean by all of this, this was an act of love. A reflection of God's love for us. When I preach love, it is this sort of love I am talking about. Not mushy-gushy love. Not a feeling. Rather, an action. Helping, sacrificing yourself for others, to bring them hope and joy. But only if that hope and joy ultimately is the hope and joy that Jesus has given us.

Love is the movement.

--
"So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love."
-1 Corinthians 13:13

Stories: Brenna

2010-07-25T19:25:00.002-04:00

My friend, Brenna, chose to not make her story anonymous. I highly suggest you check out her blog...she has some amazing insights. =)

"I was the youngest child growing up with my big brother. I loved him. But more than anything, I desperately wanted a sister. Someone that I could laugh and talk and play with. Someone to be my companion. Someone to share secrets with and teach. Someone to have fun with. Someone to be my best friend. I waited a really long time, but my parents told me that it wasn't happening.

"In 2004, one night, my mom and dad called my brother and me to the couch. My dad looked at us and said, "Roses are red, violets are blue. In nine months, our family will exceed two." With excitement, I blurted out, "Mommy is pregnant?!" I was definitely the happiest seven year old in the world at that moment. My parents nodded and I began jumping and dancing around, so excited that I was finally getting everything I had always wanted. A little sibling! I denied the possibility of a boy. It would be a girl--I just knew it. I could hardly contain myself.

"Over the next nine months, I planned. We bought clothes, toys, books, bottles, diapers, and everything else under the sun. A visit to the doctor assured me that my mom was, indeed, having a girl. Another round of jumping and dancing followed soon after. I planned to teach my sister preschool, give her my dolls when I was done with them, let her have my hand-me-downs, and take her outside to teach her the game my brother and I played with our dogs. By the time my mom's due date rolled around, I was very set.

"But on September 17th, 2004, everything changed.

"My brother and I were playing happily in his room when my mom came in. She looked worried and I immediately peered up in interest and concern. She told us that something was wrong and the baby was going to require an emergency c-section. I was very confused because we had planned to have a home birth. But my questions went unanswered and my brother and I were dropped off at my grandparents' house. That night, we got to visit my mom in the hospital. The baby had been delivered safely, but... She wasn't with my mom. We weren't even able to see her. She was in an intensive care unit, not able to have visitors. I was confused, but so happy that I finally had a little sister that I didn't worry about it. But something inside my little, eight year old mind knew that all was not right.

"The next day, my suspicions were confirmed. My dad called my grandparents and told us that my sister, Katherine, had heart problems. She would have to be transferred to a larger hospital where they could take care of her better. She was only there for a couple days before she went to another hospital, one specializing in children.

"Over the next few weeks, my brother and I went from friend's house to friend's house to waiting room of the hospital. My parents spent every waking moment in the NICU. We weren't allowed to see my sister because the unit required you to be twelve, and we were both younger than that. Once or twice, we were able to see her for a few minutes, but she was covered in cords and always unconscious. We could barely even touch her. I was growing increasingly frustrated. I had what I wanted, but she was behind glass doors. What was wrong? Why couldn't I see her? Why couldn't she come home? Why wasn't she getting better?

"My dad told us that everything was fine. He said my sister just needed some heart surgery, and then she could come home, all better. My mom didn't say anything, but I could tell from her facial expressions that my parents were hiding something from me. About five weeks after Katherine was born, I figured it out. She also had a kidney disease which prevented safe surgery. We would have to wait.

"One week later, on October 29th, exactly six weeks after Katherine's birthday, my family was eating dinner at home. The phone rang. My dad went in the other room to answer it. He came back with tears clogging his eyes. He looked at us solemnly.

"That was the doctor. It's Katherine. We need to go down to the hospital. She's not going to make it through the night."

"Those words pierced my heart. I stared at him, unable to say anything. My mom burst into tears. My brother dropped his chicken wing, mouth wide open. I felt tears falling down my face, but I couldn't register anything. I was in shock. She was going to die. I had been living in a fantasy for the past six weeks. My sister was never going to come home. She would be dean in just a couple of hours.

"We went down to the hospital. We said our last goodbyes as the doctors took away the life support. It wasn't going to do any good anymore. It was only making her uncomfortable. With tears in our eyes, we watched her heart beat on the monitor gradually go down, down, down. 6...2...0. She was gone. It was the most awful night of my life.

"My family grieved. A lot. My mom was always crying. My dad became drawn and introverted. My brother didn't say anything. I would just lie on my bed, holding the stuffed bunny I had bought for Katherine, asking God why He had taken her from me. And despite my resentment, He worked in amazing ways.

"My sister's hospital bills were well over a million dollars. As soon as people heard our story, fundraisers, donations, and wellness boxes came flying our way. We received money, books, cards, letters, emails, scrapbooks, baked goods, and so much more. Some of my mom's friends even made us a quilt in memory of Katherine. Complete strangers were contacting us, telling us they were praying and asking how they could help. Her memorial service had over five hundred attendees. Some people we barely even knew. It was amazing.

"It's been six years, and I still haven't fully healed. But I've heard God speak to me in amazing ways. This event shaped my life and who I am. I share the story, hoping that other people will see that, even when our own family members are taken away from us, it's all working together for His purpose, and it has a light to it that may be invisible to us. It's hard. So hard. And it's okay to cry. But don't lose hope. All things work together for His glory, no matter how difficult that can be to comprehend."

Stories: True Love

2010-07-23T15:36:00.004-04:00

This story is by a friend of mine who wishes to remain anonymous.

[For more information on my "Stories" series, visit this link.]

"I was about six years old when one thought came to me and stuck in my mind for a very long time: "I'm ugly." At that point, it wasn't a huge deal to me. Just something that I couldn't seem to help. But I was convinced that everyone else had the same opinion as me. And that because of that fact, they wouldn't love me very much.

"Years went by and the thought stuck more and more. It became a conviction. A belief. A terrifying belief. No one loved me because I wasn't pretty enough. By the time I was twelve, I was confused and lost in a state of imperfection, so scared of never being loved because I was so awful looking. I wouldn't look in the mirror or take pictures of myself because I didn't want to have to look at the terrible image, and I didn't want it duplicated. Needless to say, I had a very bad idea of what love is.

"When I was thirteen years old, one of my friends told me over chat that he loved me. It was the first time I had ever been told that by a male. It was in an innocent, general way, but it was sincere, and it really hit me. I asked him why he loved me and we argued for a while, me disputing every reason he gave and him, him refusing to step down. Finally, I told him that I was too ugly to be loved, and there was no way he could be serious. The chat went silent. After a moment, he spoke again. He told me that if I thought his love would change based on how I look, then I had a very wrong idea of love. I was confused. Even a bit offended. And it took me about a year to realize how right he was.

"Just a few weeks ago, I went to an amazing Christian leadership camp. During the last lecture, the speaker talked about lies that our culture promotes and are believed by almost everyone, blindly or not. One of them was "Love yourself." As he spoke, he looked at us all and told us how terrible, unworthy, and disgusting we human beings are. There is absolutely no reason to love us. We're all imperfect. But, despite our depravity, the One who stands above us all, is the Father of all things, and surpasses all of us combined in greatness loved us so much that he sent His only Son to die for us. Us, the sinners that spat in His face and blasphemed his name. As I listened to his words that night, I almost started crying. I realized that I had spent the past six years believing a lie of what love is. My mind flew back to the conversations with my friends. The terrified glances in the mirror. The absolute convictions.

"And I realized something.

"True love is not based off anything as superficial as physical appearance. Love is not even dependent on any quality attributes. Love is unconditional. Love lasts. Love looks past all the horrors thrown at it and survives. God loved us as we broke His law over and over and over. And He will never stop.

"I looked in the mirror that night. As I traced my features, hating every single one, I thought of one more thing: God loves them. Otherwise, He wouldn't have created them. He loves my large nose and my freckles and my blotchy forehead. I was created in His image.

"Love does not worry about how we look. Love is blind to socialized ugliness. And the people that really love me? They love me for who I am. Not what I look like. And God? So much that He would die for me.

"Now that's love."

The Potter's School

2010-07-19T18:48:00.003-04:00

“The sign said, “In class, please do not ring”,

At this I was indeed intrigued.

“What is this class, online you say?”

“It rocks in an amazing way.”

Although she knew it would be tough,

September could not arrive soon enough.

“Student hangout” she read, wondering, “what on earth?”

She knew not of the friendships birthed.

“Online friends” might indeed sound strange,

But were you me, your mind would change.

From New York to Virginia to Massach,

They stretch to Pennsylvania and New Jersey, too.

I finish my poem now with this address:

My life would not be the same without TPS.”

I think the poem is pretty self-explanatory. I decided it was about time to tell my blog readers about TPS and my friends from there.

-Hannah Copp

Hannah is one of my close friends, in person. Yes, be jealous everyone else. She and I hang out, in person. Didn’t catch that? I’ll say it again. IN. PERSON. Haha.. I love you, my sib.

-Julian Anderson

My bio bud! He and I got to know eachother in Biology class (my first TPS class), and it’s pretty safe to say that I would not be friends with most of my TPS friends if it hadn’t been for Julian, showing me by example how to be a true TPSer. ;)

-Ashley Thain

Ashley was the first TPSer I ever met in person. She’s also from my Bio class. =)

-Emily Apgar

I met Emzy (or as I like to call her, Sesame) in Feb. of ’10. This girl is…amazing. I love her so much, she’s such an encouragement to me in her faith and testimony. But she’s a ton of fun, and LOVES Switchfoot like me…oh and NYC and Apple computers and being crazy in general, so we get along reallllly well. Even if she is a Northerner. :D

-Julie Deibler

SLEEPY! Haha. She’s awesome too. I met her with Emzy, which made it doubly fun. She and I often challenge eachother to tell the truth, which is something I think every person needs in their life. And she’s quite possibly even crazier than Em (shh, don’t tell her I said that.. ;) ) so we get along juuuuust fine. I love you Julie!

-Lizzie Filipe

Oh. My. Word. This girl…I can’t tell you what she means to me. I’ve never, ever, ever talked to anyone like her…and she’s so special. Not in the “shes just…special” way, she’s sincerely one of the most unique people I’ve ever met. God gave me a treasure when He gave me Lizzie. =)

-Rachel Lehmann

MY NYC BUD! I still can’t get over the awesomeness of the fact that she lives in New York. But, even if she lived out in the middle of nowhere, she’d still rock. She, like me, has a heart for hurting people and a desire to be the hands and feet of Christ to them. Well, now that I think about it…most of these people I’ve mentioned do. I don’t know Rachel quite as well as the others, but we’re getting there, and I’m excited for wherever God may take our friendship.

-Katie Wagner

I’ve known Katie since…January ish? Erg, I can’t remember exactly. Somewhere around there. Anyway, Katie rocks. She’s been a great friend, and we’ve been there for each other a lot. That’s about the best I can sum up our friendship. =)

My goodness. That only scratches the surface. I could go on and on about lots of my other Potter’s School friends, but I think I’ll stop there. You all are awesome, whether I mentioned you or not…thanks for making my school year, in today’s common term, epic. :D

He loves you more

2010-07-12T21:50:00.002-04:00

A poem that has yet to be named

By Abby Davis

Confessions flow like trickling stream,

Each time they come to let off steam.

“I’ve let you down, forgive my sins”

“My child, My love will never end.”

Countless scars she hides in shame,

A smile out front, yes that’s her game.

Take off that smile! Don’t you see?

We’re here to help you, even me.

Christ paid the price so you would be

Completely and eternally free.

Release your sorrow! Cry out to Him!

Turn the demons away once again.

You are precious, and I love you so,

But never forget, He loves you more.

Stories: "God saved me."

2010-07-06T15:03:00.003-04:00

Another anonymous story from a friend of mine. =)

She lives a happy life. Her happy-go-lucky smile masterfully hides a history of shame. As happy and free as she is now, the ones who know her best can think back to darker days. Unless you know her extremely well however, you probably won’t get past the plastic smile. But for the sake of the story we’ll pretend you do know her well.

The past 2 years have been very difficult for her. She has lost friends and role models alike. For a time she abandoned the faith that at first had sustained her. In the beginning she had cried out to her savior. But in time as she felt no relief, peace, or assurance, she turned to other things to bring her peace.

At first she sought peace in her anger, then her bitterness… at last she sought peace in more physical things. She sought peace in her arms.

She became so used to the pain that constantly surrounded her that she found enjoyment in it. Pain became her friend. Because she couldn’t control her circumstances, she desired to control her body. For months her world was darkened by pain, both emotional and self inflicted, and so many lies constantly covered her thoughts. Never mind the details of what happened during that time. Those are for her, and her alone.

She kept herself from doing something terrible for the one reason that despite everything there was a single ray of light in the darkness. It took its form in her single friend. The only one who would ever know her ordeals while they happened. People would find out later but only one knew in the midst of everything.

As more time passed she sunk deeper within herself, She questioned her existence. She questioned everything. Until one day she exploded. She screamed out in anger and pain to her maker. She felt horrible and she just wanted to grasp the something more she knew was out there. She was completely broken on the inside… and slowly she was breaking on the outside as well. She checked her chat quickly, intending only to change her status to “not here.” But as she got up, that one friend who had loved her despite everything, quickly chatted her saying: “I love you.” Those three simple words changed her in ways never known to the talker. Those words saved her life.

That night would have, should been the end of it. That night she should have died. Except her best friend interrupted her. Now locked in her room, hands shaking and tears flowing, feelings came back for a moment. Sinking down to the floor, at the most vulnerable moment of her life, she lost control of her emotion. But for just one tiny second… she allowed herself to believe that the God her best friend served still existed for her too. The savior she had been crying out to in the beginning was still here. That savior who she had abandoned loved her in ways she couldn’t imagine…. in ways that didn’t depend on her performance. That savior loved her in ways that didn’t make sense.

For one tiny second, she allowed God to pick her up in the darkest moment of her life. There wasn’t any thunder, there was no voice or sudden transformation, and in fact there wasn’t even any change. She still struggled, but in that small moment of faith, she believed. Believed in something bigger than herself, something bigger than her pain, and something bigger than her problems. In that moment, God reached deep within her and touched her. He didn’t fix the symptoms, he fixed the problem. She repented. Plain and Simple. And that night began something deep in her heart.

After the first month, things got easier; she learned how to heal both emotional and physical scars. As her attitude adjusted, she found more and more peace and trust in her Savior. As time went on, the addiction slacked off a little. She found that God will turn your life around if you let him. The simplicity of the matter is that all God truly asks you to do is to wait and trust him, and he will lead you through.

She wanted to share this word of encouragement with you:

“If you get nothing else from this story, remember that Christian leaders, families, role models, they will make mistakes. Mentors and close friends will hurt us. People will die, move, walk away, and abandon us. Sometimes life will hurt like nothing else, and sometimes God seems so far away you will wonder if he even exists. But never EVER should any sort of discouragement get in the way of your walk with God and your devotion to him. Never stop beleiving in hope or healing. If nothing else, my struggles prove that healing, redemption, and forgiveness exist. Not in a counselors office, or in self-redemption, rather through Jesus Christ. I really don't consider myself completely healed. Instead, I am a work in progress. I still struggle every day, but I know I have freedom in Christ. Philippians 1:6 says, "Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you, will carry it on to completion." I can honestly say God is the only way out. On your own, you will never have the strength to stand strong. You need something bigger than yourself.

If you're struggling, not just with the things I struggle with, but anything. If you feel alone, abandoned, out of place, hurt, abused, depressed, or hopeless, then let me encourage you.

Brokenness and weakness are not the same thing. You may be torn apart, but you are not alone, and you are not weak. You are still the beloved child of your father who has given you strength to go this far. Press through this, remember there is always hope. One day when you look back, you’ll understand why you had to face this. You are no more defined by hatred, or sorrow or pain than your savior is. You are his. And he is enough."

At the very end of the long email she sent me, she laughed and said “I could just say, God saved me.” That is the perfect summary of her long journey to redemption.

Stories: "Jesus held my hand."

2010-06-28T14:12:00.004-04:00

Just so y'all know, for most of these stories I will not be using a name. But each post is about a different person, a different story. =)

When she was 12, her doctor said to be careful about her weight. She wasn’t fat, just leaning toward a bit chubby.

When he said that, she became petrified. In her words, “it’s really true that what you focus on expands.”

To make a long story short, she stopped eating. For four years. It began small but it gradually got worse and worse. Then few months ago, the doctors said if the weight didn’t go up in a very short amount of time, they were going to admit her to the hospital. Five feet and 77 pounds is just not enough, they said. So, she had to gain weight, had to get bigger-had to eat. It was the hardest thing ever.

But Jesus held her hand.

Just a few days ago, the doctor told her the weight is perfect.

Where she is right now, learning to stay this way, is very hard.

This is not her life. This is not her world. This is just a struggle she has. No matter how hard the struggle is, she still believes the world is a big, wonderful, beautiful, place.

She doesn’t share her story for attention. She doesn’t share it for pity. God is the one who should get each piece of attention, and she shared her story for this reason; so that we can see He is there even in the darkness.

Stories: The day that turned my life upside down.

2010-06-25T08:47:00.001-04:00

In my "Stories" series, I'd like to share a personal one of mine-one that occurred exactly a year ago today. June 25th, 2009.

"Don't look at your email." These words were not a surprise, as I was in the middle of a history lesson when my phone buzzed. What did surprise me were the words following those. I explained that it was merely a text, saying that my friend Cameron had updated his Facebook status. "What did it say?" inquired my father. "Nothing of consequence, probably just drama" I thought to myself. However, I answered straight forward, "no no.. this is insane". For a few moments, I thought nothing of it. Dad again said "Don't look at your email...there's something I need to tell you about, after you finish your history". This of course piqued my curiosity, and my desire to do history went from moderate to zero. I looked him straight in the eye and asked, "can you just tell me now?" He paused for a moment, then proceeded to tell me.

"I know tonight is the night that we usually go help at the food pantry, but an opportunity for some different ministry has come up." At this, although I did not express it, I was selfishly frustrated. He continued. "We received word by email that a friend of a friend died today." In my wildest dreams, I would never have imagined who this person was. I figured it was perhaps a friend of one of Dad's friends. And still no second thought entered my mind about Cameron's post.

"It was a friend of Cameron's-actually, one of his best friends."

The words paralyzed my heart. I knew instantly who it was, but tried to deny it with every possible alternative.

The words I spoke after that I cannot clearly recall, but I do remember asking multiple times, "who was it?" Dad didn't remember the name, so we walked together over to the computer.

My eyes fell on the words. The only words necessary. The words that changed my life and the lives of my friends forever.

Wyatt Gentry.

I gasped. Practically shrieked. Tears welled up in my eyes. And feelings which cannot be explained entered my heart. Shock. Horror. Remorse. Regret. You see, I held an extremely unjust opinion of Wyatt. In all honesty, I thought he was a pure jerk. I had let one event in the past cloud my opinion of him for the rest of his life. And these ideas of who he was were not secret. Many people knew my stupid prejudice.

The insane thing was, I didn't know him well enough to even call him my friend. We had been connected in the past, and had recently reconnected, but at best we were acquaintances. So to hold these ideas was absurd, and wildly immature. And when I saw, heard the words that he was dead, those opinions were instantly replaced with a horrid feeling of "what did I do? Was I really so stupid to think and openly say what I did about him?"

But this was not about me. This was about my friends. My friends, who had just lost their dear friend. After a moment of sitting in shock, praying with Dad, and collecting my thoughts, I sprung into action. I had Dad call the mother of one of my closest friends, Heidi, and make sure they had heard the news. (Heidi and Wyatt were very close.)

Meanwhile, while Dad was making the phone call, I logged onto facebook, confirmed this as being factual by checking Wyatt's page, and chatted with a few people who were either close to Wyatt or were trying to figure out what had happened.

To be honest, the rest of the afternoon is a blur. We went and ran a few errands, then worked at the food pantry. It was on the way to the food pantry that I finally got in touch with Heidi by phone. Her words told me she was alright, but her voice broke my heart. While at the pantry, I wrote her numerous times. Asking her how she was, did she need me, etc. Finally, she said that Cameron and his sister Cassidy were coming over, and that I could come too. I went.

What I expected and what it was like were two completely different things. I expected crying. A hug-fest. Lots of sitting in silence. Instead? Laughter. Joking. I was bewildered. I didn't know it was all a front. That inside, everyone was breaking. I was naive and couldn't comprehend acting differently on the outside from what you felt on the inside, especially in a case like this. Now, a year later, I comprehend it all too well. As the night got late and the Clarks were leaving, I offered to stay the night with Heidi. And I did. We stayed up for a while on computers, oddly finding it easier to communicate by chat than by voice. We finally went up to bed, talking for most of the night, trying to sort out what had happened.

I had never experienced any tragedy of this nature before. The only death in my life had been that of grandparents. I thought the grief would be past within a matter of weeks, not many months.

I learned greatly after this. Miserable does not begin to describe how I felt for Heidi, my dear sister, and for all of my close friends who were grieving for Wyatt. Although I would never have chosen for it to happen this way, God used this time to deepen, mature, and strengthen my relationship with Him and with many other people. And He proved that in the end, He is all we need.

As I have stated before, I strongly believe that every story should be told. While mine is definitely not the most significant, I believe that my side of the story is one that the world should hear. Not so much a story of my personal grief, but my perspective as I was watching.

Also, here is the link to a song that I heard a few days after Wyatt died...it really reflected how I felt.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Atr8MwxNGyg

Stories

2010-06-22T23:57:00.002-04:00

Every person has a story.

It begins when they're born, and ends when they die.

Stories of hope. Stories of despair. Stories of brokeness. Stories of redemption.

Not only does everyone have a story, but everyone has an important story. One that matters to the world. One that the world should hear. For what good is a story if it isn't shared?

I'm starting a series of people's stories here on my blog. I've already posted one that has been shared with me.

I would love to hear yours.

I'll make it anonymous if you'd like, but I'm willing to use names. It's up to you.

Maybe you don't think your story is that exciting. That's ok. It still matters.

It would be a joy to me to hear from you.

Or, if you would like to share your story but don't want it going on my blog, that's fine too. I'd love to hear it.

Everyone has a story.

What's yours?

If you'd like to share your story, either to be shared publicly or just with me, leave me a comment with your email address. I'll remove it as soon as I get the address.

Stories: Katie

2010-06-18T09:41:00.006-04:00

I want to tell you a story.

A story that hasn't ended yet.

In fact, a story that is just beginning.

There was a girl who we will call Katie. She had a happy, easy life. Small trials here and there, as all people do growing up. But nothing major. She was happy. She was immature. She was blissfully ignorant of the pain of this world. Until one day. One summer in her early teenage years, a tragic death rocked her world. She didn't know the person who died well. But she knew his friends. And suddenly, one bullet shattered her happy world into the deep darkness of grief. The grief was not hers, but that of her friends. She was, for the first time in her young life, exposed to deep pain. It was the start of a journey, and around every bend she learned something new. The journey brought many discoveries of the problems people deal with. The hurts, the pain, the hopelessness. And the journey did not stop with this one situation. She found herself more and more in a position to discover other people's problems.

With every new exposure to pain, she had a choice.

She could ignore it. Her personal life was still a happy, easy one. She could ignore the problems and live her own life.

She could take it on as her own problems. She could let the hopelessness of this world consume her just like it had consumed others.

But Katie had a third choice. She could bring hope to the hopeless. She could bring light into darkness. She could replace fear with peace. Hate with love. Sorrow with joy. She could "trade beauty for ashes".

She chose the third.

She walks now down the path of learning. Learning how to help the hurting. How to do what she has been called to do. The journey hasn't ended, and she is still taking it step by step. But she knows that she will make it to the end, because she can do all things through Christ who strengthens her.

I know Katie well. I am a firm believer in the importance of people's personal stories being shared. This is hers. More will be coming soon.

So what's your story?

Love them like they're hurting.

2010-05-18T07:43:00.003-04:00

I received horrifying news recently.

I was informed that a friend of mine had dealt with some serious issues.

I was shocked.

What made things worse was that the informer would not disclose who this person was.

Frankly, I was upset. I wanted to know. Not so I could gossip. Not so I could have a different view of that person. No. I wanted to know because I wanted to know who to hug tighter. To encourage more. To try to be there for them. To love them.

Then like a flash of lightning, it hit me. Shouldn't we be that way with every person? Shouldn't we strive to love, to encourage, to help though tough times? When are we ever called to be rude? To tear people down, even in a joking manner, with sarcastic or hurtful words? That I am aware of--never.

So this shocking revelation has turned into a challenge. A challenge for me. A challenge for you.

Love everyone as if they were hurting.

Hug them tighter. Actually look into their eyes when you ask them how they're doing. Be a best friend to everybody. Offer to help, but don't push it if they say no.

You are needed in this world. A light. A beacon of hope. You will never know how much you mean to people, and just how badly they need you.

I'm going to spread the love of Christ.

Will you help me?

[Love is the movement

Love is a revolution
This is redemption
We don't have to slow back down]

-"Love is the Movement", Switchfoot

Set Me Free

2010-05-11T21:12:00.003-04:00

Nothing much to share, just wanted to share a song. I heard it last night, and it reminded me of one of my good friends. You know who you are. I love you, so much.

"It hasn't always been this way
I remember brighter days
Before the dark ones came
Stole my mind
Wrapped my soul in chains

Now I live among the dead
Fighting voices in my head
Hoping someone hears me crying in the night
And carries me away

Set me free, of the chains holding me
Is Anybody out there hearing me?
Set me free

Morning breaks another day
Finds me crying in the rain
All alone with my demons I am
Who is this man that comes my way?
The dark ones shriek
They scream His name
Is this the One they say will set the captives free?
Jesus, rescue me

Set me free, of the chains holding me
Is Anybody out there hearing me?
Set me free

As the God man passes by
He looks straight through my eyes
And darkness cannot hide

Do you want to be free?
Lift your chains
I hold the key
All power on Heav'n and Earth belong to Me

You are free
You are free
You are free"

-"Set Me Free", Casting Crowns

[If you wanna hear it, here's a link for YouTube...just a warning, it may be a bit rockier than some people prefer. Just giving full disclosure. :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XOCwnj8P2E ]

From a thought to words on a page.

2010-04-23T11:33:00.003-04:00

I have begun writing.

Writing my thoughts, my feelings, in ways I never have before. Poetry has found it's way into my soul. Maybe poetry isn't the right term. Because I am most definitely NOT a poet. But I've begun writing things out in the form of a poem, and I find it incredibly easier and more freeing than writing normally.

I know I'm not great. I'm just beginning. But I've found an outlet for what is on my mind and heart. And it works.

I'm going to post something I wrote yesterday on here, and I'll appreciate all forms of criticism-the good, the bad, and the ugly. ;)

One thing I need to mention before I post it, is that I wouldn't be doing this if it weren't for my amazing friend Emily Apgar. Not only is she herself an inspiration to me, but her writing made me realize that hey...I could do this too. And I don't think I'd be doing it if it weren't for her. :)

Okay, here's my...poem..thing. (and yes, you'll see if you went to her blog, I am copying the way she writes. I think it flows well. And imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, right?) :D

Peer pressure

A need for love

A need for acceptance

Cause us to abandon

Who are are

Who God has made us to be.

People think they always have to

Say the right thing

Wear the right thing

Watch the right thing

Listen to the right thing

To be loved.

I’m here to tell you

That is a lie from the devil.

God loves you

He created you to be you

And He doesn’t want you

Any other way.

So be yourself.

People love a genuine person

Not a stereotype.

Speak your mind

Speak the truth

Don’t forget that God loves you

And hey…I do too.

Praise You in this Storm

2010-04-03T22:19:00.006-04:00

[Video and story at the bottom.]

"I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I am with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I am with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

I will praise You in this storm."

Last summer was the hardest time of my life. I can say that quite honestly. It wasn't a personal thing of mine, but rather some of my friends. On June 25th of 2009, a very close friend of my friends, Wyatt Gentry, passed away unexpectedly. He was 14 years old. Everyone that knew him well was in shock and deep grief for a long, long time. As an outsider, I had no idea what to do. I was miserable in my own way. I wanted to do something, anything to take this pain and grief from my friends who meant so much to me.

One night I was extremely upset. I was at the point where I just couldn't understand why God had let this happen, and why He was letting my friends continue to be in so much pain for so long. My mind was filled with so many "why's". Not that they hadn't come up before, just that they were largely magnified that night. I went into my secret hideout, my bathroom, and turned on some music. The song that first came up was "Praise You in this Storm". These lyrics applied to what was going through my brain, scarily close.

"I was sure by now, God You would have reached down, and wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day". This is EXACTLY what I'd been thinking. This summed up everything I'd been trying to process. "God, why haven't you taken these tears from my friends and restored them? Why are you taking so long to heal them?"

"But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining". I prayed and prayed and cried and begged God to take this away, to lift this shroud of grief. Yet the next morning, my friends were still in misery.

"But as the thunder rolls, I barely hear You whisper through the rain 'I am with you'". Despite the massive pain, the grief all around me, we were all hearing God's voice...but just barely. Thus, a whisper. Yet the whisper was just enough to keep everyone going.

"And as Your mercy falls, I raise my hands and praise the God who gives...and takes away". He gave Wyatt to my friends, and He took him away. That was His good and perfect plan, although it is even now still nearly impossible to understand.

[I'm not going to go through the whole song, just the parts that really were significant to me. Which was a lot of it, haha.]

"For You are who You are, no matter where I am". Wow. It really hit me. It's SO right! God is the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. He was who He was before June 25th, He was who He was after then, and He is who He is now. Our circumstances change. He never does.

"Every tear I've cried, You hold in Your hand". My hidden tears, my friends hidden tears, every single tear that we thought was wasted and nobody knew or cared about, He caught them. He saw them. He was there with the whole time.

"And though my heart is torn...I will praise You in this storm". Praising God in the storm of grief and confusion was the only way anyone could make it out. I'm not saying everything is peachy when you do. I'm not saying your problems will be solved, the pain goes away. But it gives you something to cling onto. It reminds you that the only thing that really matters is Him. It provides a beautiful hope.

I could go on even further, but I think I've said enough.

I must say, this is the most personal blog post I've ever made. I just felt a strong conviction tonight to share this major piece of my life.

Okay, here's the video that I promised at the top. :)

Good Ole' Southern Breakfast...

2010-03-16T21:01:00.006-04:00

...for lunch. :)

We had breakfast for lunch today. And I took pictures. And made a collage. And decided I'd post 'em here, just because I haven't posted recently. So...enjoy! :)

Egg omelet fixin's

Grits :D

The final result!

P.S. Yes, that is sweet tea with my meal. ;)

Hot Chocolate

2010-03-03T11:49:00.002-05:00

I love hot chocolate. And I love experimenting. Over the winter, I've been messing around with my hot chocolate, adding this or that here and there. I think I've finally come up with the final product. Here's my recipe.

1 Coffee mug

1 Packet of Hot Chocolate

1 Piece of Dark Chocolate

Boiling water

Whole milk

Chocolate syrup

Optional: Instant coffee

Boil at least 8 oz of water. While the water is heating up, pour the packet of hot chocolate mix into the mug, put the piece of dark chocolate in, and add as much or little Chocolate Syrup as desired. Once the water is boiled, pour it in so that it fills about 2/3rds of the mug. Stir until thoroughly mixed and dissolved. Fill the mug up the rest of the way with whole milk. Stir again.

[If you’d like a little extra flavor and an energy boost, add a small spoonful of instant coffee. This would preferably be done before pouring the milk, but it also will work after…just be sure to stir well.]

Enjoy! J

P.S. Special thanks to my biology formal labs, which have taught me how to write in a recipe format.

Ode to a Gut Buddy

2010-02-23T12:40:00.003-05:00

"Ode to a Gut Buddy"

By Bubba Kom Bucha

In my own little world,

Looking through a rose-colored glass,

Life was beautiful.

Floating around, living moment to moment,

Coming closer to my purpose in life.

When suddenly, what I thought was perfect protection,

I discovered was a vulnerable vessel.

While falling from the precipice,

Hoping still to realize my calling,

I discovered as I screamed,

The barren floor below.

My world was shattered,

My buddies were splattered.

And I was all alone.

Gasping for gastro garrisons,

I breathed my last.

And had not even the energy to cry...

F-R-E-E-D-O-M!

[In case you were wondering this is about a glass of cranberry kombucha that fell off the table and broke.]

Parental School Choice: A Fundamental Right

2010-02-22T19:45:00.001-05:00

This is my second persuasive paper (out of three) that I wrote for TeenPact. What do you think? :)

Education Choice: A Fundamental Right

If you were to go out onto the street and ask the average person what they consider the most important thing a person could have, one answer you would frequently receive is “a good education”. In order to have a good education though, it is necessary for parents to have the freedom to choose the kind of education that is best for their child and where they receive it. It is hard for parents to make this decision, often because of unnecessary governmental restrictions. The United States should therefore implement policies encouraging states to provide and allow more school choices for it’s citizens.

On December 10^th, 1948, the General Assembly of the United Nations adopted the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Forty-eight countries signed this declaration, including the United States. Article 26, section 3 of this document simply states the belief that is being defended here: “Parents have a prior right to choose the kind of education that shall be given to their children”. This is not a legally binding document, but it is one that, if upheld, will increase the quality of life for all nations. Implementing policies in the United States that parallel the UDHR will make our nation a better place. That would include policies giving citizens choices for their children’s’ education.

Going to the logical extent of this argument, think about the facts. If there is no choice given to parents, then all children will go to a local public school. If all children go to public school, then naturally more resources will be required. And, if more resources are required, from where will the money for these resources come?

Your pocket. Do you really want to pay more school taxes than you already pay? I highly doubt it. However, were there to be specific policies granting freedom of choice, there would be fewer children in our public schools, therefore leading to less taxation. This isn’t rocket science to figure out, just simple facts.

Finally, you must take into account the amount of people who need flexibility. A traditional school setting is just not for everyone. For instance, children with ADD typically have a harder time in traditional school. They can’t focus, are often made fun of, and struggle with grades. However, if they are allowed to be taught at home, in private schools, charter schools, or magnet schools, they are more likely to have success in their learning experiences. The same would be true for bright children who live in areas that have a poor school system and are not challenged academically. Also, you have families who do not want their children exposed to theories and beliefs that are contrary to their own beliefs. If choice is freely given to parents, all of these issues could be resolved very easily. These are several examples of why options should be allowed for parents.

Everybody is different. Everyone has his or her own needs. Our government should never inhibit parents from choosing the route of education their children take, but continue putting policies in place giving parents the freedom to make these choices.

Twue Wuv...

2010-02-14T21:22:00.005-05:00

[No, this is not about "The Princess Bride". Don't get too excited. I just love that quote... :D]

Ladies and gentlemen, do you want to earn somebody's love? Buy them flowers! Buy them chocolate! Buy them balloons! The more, the bigger, the more expensive, the better! Buying your loved one things will show them how much you truly care!

Ha, scared you, didn't I?

I find it sad and, quite frankly, stupid that our culture defines love as something that can be bought. Something that, with enough flowers and chocolate, will just instantly be magical. No wonder there is so much heartache in the world! If love is based on how many flowers or boxes of chocolate you get, then why should it be expected to last forever?

Thankfully, there is hope. 1 Corinthians 13. Whether you've read it a hundred times or never, I encourage you to read it, process it, and ponder it. This is true love. This is biblical love. This is God's love.

1 Corinthians 13:

"¹If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. ²And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ³If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

⁴Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant ⁵or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; ⁶it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. ⁷Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

⁸Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. ¹¹When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. ¹²For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

¹³So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love."

Happy Valentines Day.

Universal Healthcare: The Wrong Option

2010-02-04T19:53:00.004-05:00

This is one of my persuasive papers for the TeenPact class I'm attending next week. I really liked how it turned out, so I thought I'd share it. More...possibly...to come later. :)

[To see a post I did a last April about an experience I had at TeenPact last year, go here.]

Universal Healthcare: The Wrong Option

By Abby Davis

If you go to the White House website concerning universal healthcare, you are likely to think it doesn’t sound like such a bad idea. It is very well presented, easy to understand and seems to make sense. But what you don’t read are the negative aspects to this plan. That is what this paper intends to do.

First, this will increase the control our government has on your life. Whether you use the specific health care plan that they provide is optional, but they will control the major aspects of your health care in general. You will pay not only for your health care, but also the health care of others, through increased taxation. Many people argue that this is part of what the Constitution is referring to when it says, “to promote the general welfare”. However, if you dig deeper into the document, you’ll note that it also says, “The powers not delegated to the United States…are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people”. The power to run a health care system has not been given to the United States in any way, shape, or form. This power has not been given to the United States for a very legitimate reason. Our government has proven to be incapable of efficiently handling what private enterprises should control. In May of 2009, the Social Security Administration sent out approximately 10,000 stimulus checks to deceased citizens. They “didn’t have time” to go through the records and determine who was still eligible (which would technically start with being alive), so just sent the checks out and wasted thousands if not millions of dollars. That’s a minute example of the numerous ways our government extravagantly spends and wastes your tax dollars. If our system cannot handle simple tasks like not paying dead people, there is little reason to trust them to be responsible with our entire health care system.

Not only will this affect the government’s control on us, it will also create a terrible burden in our economy. A nationalized health care system, by default, will increase our nation’s taxes. It will launch us into deeper debt. And much of the money that comes directly from “we the people” will go towards unnecessary waste, not valid health services. It is hard to imagine that so many are in favor of a bill that will sink our economy into further hardships.

Last, but certainly not least, there is the issue of quality. While health care now may not be the best, it is not as bad as it will be. How can I know this? Just look at the facts. In Canada, the wait times for specialized medical care are outrageous. For example, in 2008, a medically reasonable amount of time to wait for neurosurgery would be 5.8 weeks. With Canadian health care, however, it would take approximately 31.7 weeks before they could schedule the operation. Canada has a nationalized health care system. The United States is trying to implement a health care system that operates much like Canada’s. It is unfathomable that any person would desire a system that requires them to wait 221 days for this kind of a surgery. By waiting that long, their quality of life might decrease, even possibly resulting in death. Yet this is what the majority of our government seems to desire.

Universal health care does not sound like a bad idea in general. It’s easy to understand why so many people want it. Our current health care system does have many issues that need to be resolved. But by looking at the facts, you see that there are more undesirable results than desirable. Universal health care is not the best option for our nation.

Lamentations 3

2010-01-24T21:07:00.003-05:00

This is my absolute favorite chapter of the Bible, telling of God's redemption. My favorite parts are in bold, but please take the time to read it all.

¹I am the man who has seen affliction
under the rod of his wrath;
²he has driven and brought me
into darkness without any light;
³surely against me he turns his hand
again and again the whole day long.

⁴He has made my flesh and my skin waste away;
he has broken my bones;
⁵ he has besieged and enveloped me
with bitterness and tribulation;
⁶ he has made me dwell in darkness
like the dead of long ago.

⁷ He has walled me about so that I cannot escape;
he has made my chains heavy;
⁸though I call and cry for help,
he shuts out my prayer;
⁹ he has blocked my ways with blocks of stones;
he has made my paths crooked.

¹⁰ He is a bear lying in wait for me,
a lion in hiding;
¹¹ he turned aside my steps and tore me to pieces;
he has made me desolate;
¹² he bent his bow and set me
as a target for his arrow.

¹³He drove into my kidneys
the arrows of his quiver;
¹⁴ I have become the laughingstock of all peoples,
the object of their taunts all day long.
¹⁵ He has filled me with bitterness;
he has sated me with wormwood.

¹⁶ He has made my teeth grind on gravel,
and made me cower in ashes;
¹⁷my soul is bereft of peace;
I have forgotten what happiness is;
¹⁸ so I say, "My endurance has perished;
so has my hope from the LORD."

¹⁹ Remember my affliction and my wanderings,
the wormwood and the gall!
²⁰My soul continually remembers it
and is bowed down within me.
²¹But this I call to mind,
and therefore I have hope:

²² The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
²³they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
²⁴ "The LORD is my portion," says my soul,
"therefore I will hope in him."

²⁵The LORD is good to those who wait for him,
to the soul who seeks him.
²⁶ It is good that one should wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.
²⁷It is good for a man that he bear
the yoke in his youth.

²⁸Let him sit alone in silence
when it is laid on him;
²⁹ let him put his mouth in the dust—
there may yet be hope;
³⁰ let him give his cheek to the one who strikes,
and let him be filled with insults.

³¹For the Lord will not
cast off forever,
³²but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion
according to the abundance of his steadfast love;
³³ for he does not willingly afflict
or grieve the children of men.

³⁴To crush underfoot
all the prisoners of the earth,
³⁵ to deny a man justice
in the presence of the Most High,
³⁶to subvert a man in his lawsuit,
the Lord does not approve.

³⁷Who has spoken and it came to pass,
unless the Lord has commanded it?
³⁸ Is it not from the mouth of the Most High
that good and bad come?
³⁹ Why should a living man complain,
a man, about the punishment of his sins?

⁴⁰Let us test and examine our ways,
and return to the LORD!
⁴¹ Let us lift up our hearts and hands
to God in heaven:
⁴² "We have transgressed and rebelled,
and you have not forgiven.

⁴³"You have wrapped yourself with anger and pursued us,
killing without pity;
⁴⁴ you have wrapped yourself with a cloud
so that no prayer can pass through.
⁴⁵ You have made us scum and garbage
among the peoples.

⁴⁶ "All our enemies
open their mouths against us;
⁴⁷ panic and pitfall have come upon us,
devastation and destruction;
⁴⁸ my eyes flow with rivers of tears
because of the destruction of the daughter of my people.

⁴⁹ "My eyes will flow without ceasing,
without respite,
⁵⁰ until the LORD from heaven
looks down and sees;
⁵¹my eyes cause me grief
at the fate of all the daughters of my city.

⁵²"I have been hunted like a bird
by those who were my enemies without cause;
⁵³ they flung me alive into the pit
and cast stones on me;
⁵⁴ water closed over my head;
I said, 'I am lost.'

⁵⁵"I called on your name, O LORD,
from the depths of the pit;
⁵⁶ You heard my plea, 'Do not close
your ear to my cry for help!'
⁵⁷You came near when I called on you;
you said, 'Do not fear!'

⁵⁸"You have taken up my cause, O Lord;
you have redeemed my life.
⁵⁹You have seen the wrong done to me, O LORD;
judge my cause.
⁶⁰You have seen all their vengeance,
all their plots against me.

^{61 "}You have heard their taunts, O LORD,
all their plots against me.
⁶²The lips and thoughts of my assailants
are against me all the day long.
⁶³Behold their sitting and their rising;
I am the object of their taunts.

^64"You will repay them, O LORD,
according to the work of their hands.
⁶⁵You will give them dullness of heart;
your curse will be on them.
⁶⁶You will pursue them in anger and destroy them
from under your heavens, O LORD."

~Lamentations 3

Excerpt

2010-01-22T10:26:00.001-05:00

I've been writing a little story for a while, and just recently wrote this part. Not to toot my own horn, but I thought it sounded pretty cool. :]

"As I ran closer to home, my inner fighter took control of me. Fear was replaced with rage. A longing for family with a burning to help. And before I knew it, my feet were running back to the shore."

What do y'all think?

"The race that knows Joseph" [and 100th post!]

2010-01-16T12:59:00.003-05:00

This post is dedicated to my friends who are of "the race that knows Joseph". Y'all know who you are. :)

“We both belong to the race that knows Joseph, as Cornelia Bryant would say.”

“The race that knows Joseph?” puzzled Anne.

“Yes. Cornelia divides all the folks in the world into two kinds– the race that knows Joseph and the race that don’t. If a person sorter sees eye to eye with you, and has pretty much the same ideas about things, and the same taste in jokes–why, then he belongs to the race that knows Joseph.”

“Oh, I understand,” exclaimed Anne, light breaking in upon her.

“It’s what I used to call–and still call in quotation marks `kindred spirits.’”

“Jest so–jest so,” agreed Captain Jim. “We’re it, whatever it is. When you come in tonight, Mistress Blythe, I says to myself, says I, `Yes, she’s of the race that knows Joseph.’ And mighty glad I was, for if it wasn’t so we couldn’t have had any real satisfaction in each other’s company. The race that knows Joseph is the salt of the airth, I reckon.”

-Anne's House of Dreams, Chapter 7, Page 38

Mimi.

2010-01-05T18:49:00.004-05:00

Recently I've been contemplating the question, "How do I want people to remember me?" A good way to do this is think of people you know for examples. As I contemplated this question, I thought about the people I know and love. It didn't take me long to think of the person I want people to remember me most like. That person is my Mimi.

Mimi has to be the most selfless person I've ever met. She never thinks about herself, is always content in whatever situation she's in, and is continually wanting to do for others. My memories of everything she would do are fading some, but I'll never forget them. Especially when I was younger, I just remember her always doing. She would go down to the Savannah Baptist Center and minister to the children there, whether through handing out snacks, directing crafts, or telling them of God's truth and love. When we would go down to Savannah, she'd always have a jello salad made for us, because she knew it was my favorite. She'd save the comics from the Sunday papers until we got there, and then I'd spend all day reading them while she catered to my every wish. She would do crafts, play games, let me help her with cooking-you name it, she'd do it. [And those are just examples of all the ways she did for others.] Never once in her better days do I remember her going to watch a TV show or read a book or do anything for her own pleasure if she could be doing anything else.

And then there was my Papa.

First of all, Papa was one of those people who was particular. He always thought his way was best, and always had a precise way of doing things. He could be undeniably frustrating at times. Don't get me wrong...he was a wonderful, loving man who took extra time for his family and always prioritized their Christian walk. But he was difficult at times. And my Mimi was always patient with him, always would submit to his wishes, no matter how irritating or time-consuming they might have been. She was a wonderful helpmeet to him.

In his last 10 or so years of life (I think...this started when I was very young), he developed Alzheimer's disease. [For those of you who are unfamiliar, it's a disease that essentially destroys the memory, sometimes over a long period time. You eventually lose control of your bladder, have no memory of who anyone is, who you are, or what everyday things of are. Also sometimes eyesight and speech are lost. It's a very, very sad disease.] Mimi faithfully took care of him, keeping her vow of "in sickness and in health", and did so much more than I could possibly fathom. God gave her an abundance of grace to deal with the issues Papa was struggling with, for as long as she possibly could. After it was just too much for her to handle, my Dad and uncle convinced her to move him to an assisted living facility where they were trained and equipped to handle the issues he had.

Mimi now has Alzheimer's herself, and while it pains me to see her slipping away slowly, at the same time I can rejoice that with every little slip she takes away from this life, she gets closer to Jesus. I truly cannot wait for Jesus to reward her for her selflessness.

So, as I am striving to be more Christlike, I am also striving for the selflessness and contentment that Mimi so incredibly expressed. It's already made a difference. I feel so much more joy, so much more peace than I have ever in my life.

To sum this long post up, God is doing wonderful things in my life, and it is my prayer that He will continue to work through me into other lives.

At Your Feet

2010-01-02T16:20:00.004-05:00

This song is by Casting Crowns...as you may have seen in my "50 things" post, their music really speaks to me like none other does. This song has really meant a lot to me recently, and I thought I'd share it on here.

"Here at Your feet, I lay my past down
My wanderings, all my mistakes down
And I am free

Here at Your feet, I lay this day down
Not in my strength, but in Yours I’ve found
All I need, You’re all I need

Jesus, Jesus, at Your feet
Oh, to dwell and never leave
Jesus, Jesus, at Your feet
There is nowhere else for me
There is nowhere else for me

Here at Your feet, I lay my future down
All of my dreams, I give to You now
And I find peace, I find peace
Here at Your feet, I lay my life down
For You my King, You’re all I want now
And my soul sings…

‘Cause I am free (here at Your feet)
All I need (is at Your feet)
I find peace
We’re at Your feet
We’re at Your feet

And I am free (here at Your feet)
All I need (is at Your feet)
I find peace
We’re at Your feet
We’re at Your feet
We’re at Your feet
We’re at Your feet

Here at Your feet
I lay my life down"

~"At Your Feet", by Casting Crowns

Thank you Julia!

2009-12-30T00:34:00.001-05:00

Just wanted to point out that my friend Julia created a very lovely blog header for me. Thank you, Julia!! :)

50 things...

2009-12-29T16:21:00.009-05:00

I got inspired to do this by my friend, Julia. :) But instead of things I'm enjoying, I'm doing 50 things I'm thankful for...

1. Jesus Christ. My Savior, Redeemer, and constant friend.

2. Amazing friends.

3. The ability to discover illness and treat it.

5. A great church family.

6. Oh, and an awesome family period! (blood, and non-blood...for those of you who are "family")

7. Mountain Dew. xD

8. The Bible.

9. Casting Crowns...their music really speaks to me, in a way none other does.

10. My dog, Dixie Belle. She's a real dog. Don't listen to other people.

11. iPhone.

12. All modern technology. :)

13. Being a southerner. I wouldn't want it any other way. (Although SOME PEOPLE call me a "yankee"...I will forever be a southerner, no matter where I live.)

14. The ability to play musical instruments.

15. A roof over my head.

16. A bed to sleep in.

17. An abundance of food.

18. Hot water!!

19. My wonderful grandmother, Mimi. I'm planning on doing a post about her at some point. :)

20. Apple products. 'nuff said.

21. TPS!! I've made some pretty awesome friends through it that I never would have met otherwise.

22. Living where I do.

23. My learners permit.

24. Being very healthy.

25. Braces. yes, I know I gripe about them. but I really am thankful that I can get my teeth straightened with them.

-halfway! so far it hasn't been hard.-

26. The ability to fly for free!!!! That has been SUCH blessing, I'm so incredibly thankful for that.

27. The fact that I get along with my friends families as well as the friends themselves, and feel like part of the family with many of them. :)

28. Having had my Grandaddy Mac live with us for 2 1/2 years. :)

29. Pickles.

30. My Daddy, who has taught me how to think logically and from whom I've inherited many personality traits.

31. My Mama, who's taught me much about contentment and love and has been a faithful homeschooling mother.

32. Chickfila (okay, technically Hoshizaki) ice. It's so awesome. ;)

33. My trip to NYC. I'd give anything to be able to go back, but if I never do, I'm so thankful that Melissa and I both could have the opportunity to see the city.

34. Whitton Avenue Bible Church.

35. The House Student Community. WABC feels like my second church, and the House is full of great people that I love and look up to. (and yes, I know I ended that sentence with a preposition.)

36. My camera.

37. Road trips!

38. Living Waters' "Deeper" conference of 2008. It truly changed my life.

39. The Rebelution Conference in August of 2009. I learned a lot, saw God move in powerful ways I'd never seen before, and got to share the time with some great friends.

40. And, of course, IBLP in October of 2009. I learned (or heard re-emphasized) many solid Biblical principles, and got to also make many memories with one of my closest friends. :)

41. Helping in His Name food pantry. I've been very blessed to be able to volunteer there since May of this year. It has been wonderful to help them out, as well as see how blessed I am with the simple essentials like food!

42. My unbiological sis, "Penny". It's like a miracle that we're friends. I've known her for forever and always thought she was "the best thing since sliced bread". I'm so grateful that I can now call her my best friend and unbiological sister. <3

43. While we're on friends, I'll mention Melissa. I've known her since I was 3 months old. We've grown up "closer than sisters" as her mom put it. We're not as close now as we used to be, but we're still really close (if that makes sense). God gave me a great gift when He gave me her as a cousin. :)

44. Living right on a lake! I take that for granted so many times.

45. Starbucks. The end.

46. Good enjoyable books, such as the Left Behind series, books by L.M. Montgomery, etc.

47. The freedom we have in America. Despite the fact that our country is very sinful now, we still have many freedoms that others do not.

48. Being born into a Christian family. I am so. so. so. thankful for this!

49. Being able to cuddle up on the sofa with a soft blanket, a cup of tea, and a nice book or some T.V. on a cold day.

-and last but not least-

50. A blog to share my thoughts and random ponderings on. :)

Merry Christmas

2009-12-26T18:42:00.004-05:00

May we never forget the true reason we celebrate.

(P.S. Yes, I know it's a day late. But I didn't get around to doing this yesterday.)

Merry Christmas! (a few days in advance)

2009-12-21T13:07:00.002-05:00

At this time of year, it's not uncommon to receive many letters or emails from friends and family describing how their year has gone, what the highlights of it have been, etc. I usually don't do that, but decided I'd do a brief one this year.

How to describe my year? I think I'll put it this way, instead of going into specifics. It has definitely been one of the most significant ones of my life. I've gotten a new glimpse of God and His grace and mercy. I've been extremely blessed. I've been challenged beyond my wildest imaginations. I've witnessed the deepest griefs and the sweetest joys. And through it all, the good times and bad, He has proven faithful. He has proven that putting your hope and trust in anything else is worthless, because all else will fail. He has proven that He is the Healer of the broken, and the Giver of many wonderful blessings. He has proven that He is enough.

I've heard this verse for many, many years. But I never really thought of the full meaning until just recently. Listen to this:

"For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace." ~Isaiah 9:6

Did you catch that? "Unto US a son is given". And who is this Son? "Wonderful, Counsellor, The Mighty God, the everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace." He's given unto US! He's ours. This incredible, amazing Son of God, Jesus, is ours. That, to me, is definitely the best Christmas present anyone could receive.

I hope you have a wonderful, very merry Christmas, and that 2010 is an amazing year for you. I also hope that you never forget what we're celebrating: Jesus Christ's coming unto us.

"What do you want for Christmas?"

2009-12-18T15:31:00.001-05:00

I, like my father, do much of my greatest thinking in the shower.

As I stood in the shower yesterday, enjoying the hot water running down my back, I contemplated the question my mother had asked me that morning.

"What do you want for Christmas?"

I started thinking. Well, I could ask for a plug to make my guitar electric. I could ask for a hard case for the guitar. I could ask for an iHome to play music. I could ask for so many things.

And then I started thinking about the Advent Conspiracy.

And I started thinking about the street boys in Uganda.

And I realized how abundantly blessed I am.

I have a roof over my head. I have a bed in which to sleep. I have clothes to keep me warm and dry. I have hot water with which to take nice long showers. Not to mention all of the little things that really don't matter in the long run.

But most importantly, I have a family who loves and protects me, and has taught me about the saving love and grace of Jesus Christ.

What can these children on the streets say? That they have one dirty torn shirt and some pants that barely fit? That they have a garbage bin to sleep in? That the only love and comfort they can find comes from marijuana?

For the $150 we might spend on a guitar case, a child in Uganda who literally has nothing could be guaranteed a home for one month. A home that would not only feed and clothe them, but would teach them the love of Jesus Christ.

This year, I challenge you to re-think Christmas. Think twice about how badly you want that iPod, or how much you really need a cellphone upgrade. And as you're thinking of those things, think also about these things:

Think about the people in Ethiopia dying from a lack of clean water.

Think about the 5 year old boy walking the streets of Uganda, fighting to survive for just one more day.

Think about the bedridden person in Thailand who cannot access a wheelchair and would give anything just to be able to move.

And most importantly, think about how Jesus Christ came to give his all. The King of the entire universe loved you so much that he gave His life for you that your sins would be washed away.

He loves you. And He loves them. But how will they know Him if no one tells them?

As I concluded my shower, I also concluded that the best present I could ask for is to share the love of Christ with others. So this year, I'm asking for donations for ministries in leiu of gifts. And through those ministries, I will hopefully gain the best presents I could ask for-new brothers and sisters in Christ.

Merry Christmas. And may we never forget the eternal love of Jesus Christ, which has washed us white as snow.

(You can visit Abby Tracy's blog (the girl who ministers to street children in Uganda) here. For more information on how to give, go here.)

Random thoughts.

2009-12-16T22:37:00.003-05:00

I found this quote online, and it instantly made my favorites list.

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

-Dr. Howard Thurman

That got me thinking.

What is it that makes us come alive?

Is it a hobby, such as playing an instrument, working with yarn, or taking pictures?

Is it being with the people we love?

Is it doing for others?

Is it telling people about Christ?

Or is it all of the above?

I'd love your input. I've just begun thinking through this.

Awards!

2009-11-28T19:19:00.002-05:00

I've been awarded for the first time! This is new territory for this blogger. :) I got the "Against the Flow" and "True Princess" awards. Thank you, Allison @ Strength and Dignity are her Clothing! Hmmm...I'll give these awards to Julia @ Jewels by Julia.

Dixie Belle

2009-10-26T20:57:00.002-04:00

I don't usually upload random pictures, but I thought this was kinda cute. :)

Yes, it's true.

2009-10-08T13:23:00.002-04:00

I've conformed. I've done what everyone else does. I've done something I thought I'd never do.

I added a background to my blog.

*listens to gasps of shock and delight all around from my blogging friends*

lol..anyway, this blog is under construction! So sorry if it looks kinda funky for a while.

The things you learn in a play...

2009-09-15T13:44:00.002-04:00

I was recently in FCFT's production of "Pinocchio", and I must say, it was an amazing experience. I also got a bunch of laughs out of it. I thought I'd share a few of them here...(just FYI, this was originally a post on facebook, but I was asked to post it here too).

"A few of the random things I learned in Pinocchio that have absolutely nothing to do with the show...

-If someone licks your elbow without you knowing it, you don't feel it. (~Teresa and Christine I think)

-Apparently, I have a face. (~Shannon)

-It's a matinee, not a manitee. (~Myself...ok, so that does have to do with the play :P)

-"Never Say Never" by The Fray gets pretty annoying when Shelby and Josh constantly go around going "Don't let me go, don't let me go, DONT LET ME GO!!" over and over and over.

-Rebekah is a major camera hog. (~Rebekah...duh)

-The red letters on Teen Vogue shake in certain lighting xD. (~Shannon)

-Only call 911 if you've had a heart attack, have fallen, or...gotten a fishhook in your eye? Oh, and when you call...don't hang up first. (~Shannon and Ana)

These are only a miniscule part of the amazing things i learned in the play ;). Love y'all!!!!

Monsters Under the Bed

2009-08-14T18:10:00.001-04:00

I read this on the girltalk blog (see blog list) and thought it was sweet :).

After reading your post about The Monster Under the Bed, my daughter expressed to me that she was afraid to play alone in her room. I used this time to exhort her and share with her that yes, her fear is real, but our enemy has been crushed and we know that Christ has the victory over sin and death.

So, last night we were playing Tickle Monster, a fun and silly made up family game and when she was tickled she screamed, "Jesus!! Crush Mommy!"

Letters

2009-06-30T10:13:00.003-04:00

Some close friends of mine recently lost a very good friend of theirs, Wyatt. He was 14 years old. My friend Heidi (who also wrote a speech I posted down below) wrote a letter to and from him. I thought it was very touching and really put things into an eternal perspective (as they say).

Dear Wyatt,
How are you? I guess that's a silly question; you're in heaven, of course you're doing amazing! I wish I could say the same for those down here. Things have been rough. We all love you a ton, and we miss not seeing you. Could you see your funeral? Did you see all of us crying over you? The place was packed....you touched many lives. You always knew exactly what to say to make people feel loved. Your eyes were so welcoming. Your smile could brighten any day. How does God handle such a bright smile? Does everybody have sunglasses? Are you showing the angels Mountain Dew, or praising Jesus with your superman guitar? What do you and Jesus talk about? It has to be amazing to be able to literally walk with Jesus. When you got there, what was your first thought? When you saw Jesus for the first time, what did you do? What's the mansion like? Where's your room? So many questions for you. I mostly want to know what you think of the place. Is it as beautiful as I picture? Can you read my mind here from there? How's the view from up there? I wish you could come back for only a few minutes. I want so bad to give you one more hug. Have you hugged God yet? If so, how does it feel to be close to the Creator of the universe? Wyatt, I don't understand why this ihappened, and I don't know if I ever will. But will you deliver a personal message to God, asking Him to help me through this? I love you; I miss you; I'll never forget you, not ever. Give Jesus a hug for me.
Your friend forever and always,
Heidi
---------------------------------------------------
How I feel he answered me:
Dear Heidi,
You're right: that was a silly question. I'm doing amazing. Heaven is fantastic. You wouldn't believe the difference in the atmosphere. One of the angels is teaching me to fly. Can you say "superman?!" I'm gonna answer your questions first...man you have a ton of em. Yeah, everybody's wearing sunglasses...my smile is too much for em. No, I'm jk. I showed the angels Mountain Dew earlier. They all got high and were flying everywhere. You shoulda seen em. I play songs on my guitar for Jesus all the time. He loves it. Shoot, I don't walk with Jesus....we RUN! But yeah, it's a great feeling. I had to do some serious convincing to get Jesus to let me write you back. But He's a softie. As for what He and I talk about: that is classified information. Don't you just wish you knew?? Hahaha. When I got here, my first thought was "whoa." Seeing Jesus for the first time was amazing. I grabbed the nearest electric guitar and wrote a song. The mansion is huge. And it's got a big front yard where we play football all the time. My room is two doors down from the actor who played Superman. God knows me well. My room is decorated perfectly: posters of everything I love. This place is amazing. It's so much better than earth. It's more beautiful than you could ever imagine. Yeah, I can read your mind. Creeped out?? Buahahahaha!!! The view is awesome. I can see everything at once. Duh, of course I've hugged God! I tackled Him when I saw Him! I heard an angel say, "Is he allowed to do that??" God answered, "you better believe it!" He is so cool. He let me watch my funeral. I know y'all feel bad now, but guess what? Time on earth is so short, you'll be here before you know it. And stop talking like I'm gone. I'm right here, you just can't see me. One day, you'll be here and you can hug me all you want. But until then, you gotta remember everything I just told you. I know everything now. Don't pretend you're not jealous, because I KNOW you are. ;-) Oh, gotta go now. Jesus wants to play some more football. Can't keep the King waiting. I'll see you real soon. Give everybody a hug for me.
Your friend for eternity,
Wyatt

An obituary worth reading

2009-05-07T22:31:00.000-04:00

An Obituary printed in the London Times - Interesting and sadly rather true.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Quotes of the Day

2009-04-24T17:46:00.002-04:00

"American by birth. Southern by the grace of God!!"
-Car tag

"My poodle is smarter than your honor student."
-Bumper sticker

Georgia State Interviews

2009-04-17T23:01:00.002-04:00

At TeenPact this year (2009), the alumni went out and interviewed students at Georgia State University about the roles government, the family, entertainment, and the church should be in our culture. It was shocking and a real wake-up call to me to see how differently the world views these issues. We interviewed 4 people, and I wrote down 3 of the 4 answers (I interviewed one person), and decided to share them here!

The people: Guy with flat-bill hat (we'll call him Bill) a girl (we'll call her Lisa), and another guy (we'll call him Bob).

Question #1: What do you believe the role of the American churches be?
Bill: An organization that devalues.
Lisa: A support system to support communities.
Bob: To tell people about Jesus and help people in trouble.
Follow-up question: What is it today?
Bill: An organization of power.
Lisa: Kind of what it should be, but also used for personal gain.
Bob: Yes.

Question #2: What do you believe the role of government should be regarding issues of morality?
Bill: If it's not hurting anyone, it's not wrong.
Lisa: They should not rule in morality.
Bob: The government should not determine morality; people should.
Follow-up: Do they have a role?
Bill: They're a sponsered branch of organized power and we're taking the first step towards socialism.
Lisa: They are trying to control morality.
Bob: Yes they do.

Question #3: What role should the family play in the American culture?
Bill: (no answer recorded; agreement with Lisa I think)
Lisa: The first and primary exposure to cultures.
Bob: A very big role, where everything starts for children, setting morals.
Follow-up: Are we fulfilling that role?
Bill: (no answer recorded; agreement with Lisa I think)
Lisa: They don't do what they're supposed to in teaching values.
Bob: For the most part, yes.

Question #4: How does entertainment influence America?
Bill: The same way the family does.
Lisa: (no answer recorded)
Bob: A lot.
Follow-up: Is that influence positive?
Bill: It depends on your view of positive. I say yes.
Lisa: With age appropriate things, as a general rule yes.
Bob: (very enthusiastic) NO.

I felt very sheltered from our culture after doing that survey. Honestly, I'm thankful for that though...I can't imagine being raised without the values and beliefs that I've had taught to me. Please pray for these people (I don't know their real names, but God does) that they'll come to know the truth, and for our culture in general! If these are the things our country are believing and teaching our children, we are in worse shape than I could have imagined.

GSU Survey

2009-04-05T07:35:00.002-04:00

Sorry to disappoint you, dear readers. This is merely a "reminder post" for myself and to get people excited about my upcoming elaboration. Key word(s):

GSU Survey/Teenpact.

Why do you need a Savior?

2009-03-06T13:53:00.002-05:00

I'm proud to call the author of this my friend. :)

(Btw, this is a speech for a NCFCA tournament in a few weeks.)

Why Do You Need A Savior?

By Heidi Turner

Do you know for a fact, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that you’re going to heaven when you die? Why would you? Are you worthy or are you in desperate need of a savior? Let’s find the answers to all of these questions and more. First, we’ll find out whether you are really a good person. Next, we’ll look at God’s judgement. Finally, I’ll show you how Jesus paid the price for us.

Are you a good person? Let’s go through the ultimate test to find out whether that’s true using God’s moral standard for our lives: the Ten Commandments. Have you ever lied, even if it was one little white lie when you were a child? If you have, you’ve broken the ninth commandment. Have you ever answered the phone, and when the person asks to speak to someone, you say, “oh, they’re not here right now.” That’s lying. It doesn’t matter when it happened, or how many times you’ve done it. All that matters is that it happened. You’ve broken the ninth commandment, which says, “You shall not lie.” Because you’ve lied, you’re called a liar. Have you ever stolen anything, regardless of the value? That’s breaking the eighth commandment, which says, “You shall not steal.” You’re now also a thief. Have you ever loved something more than God? Money, a person, your car, etc.? That’s called idolatry, and it’s breaking the second commandment, which states, “You shall not make for yourself an idol.” You’ve probably heard of the sixth commandment, “You shall not murder,” and you’re probably saying to yourself, “Well, I know I have kept that commandment.” But the Bible says, in 1 John 3:15, “Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer.” I have definitely felt hatred toward someone before, how about you? Alright, so far, if you’ve said yes to these four questions, you are a lying, thieving, idolater and murderer at heart. And we’ve only looked at four of the Ten Commandments! The Bible says in Revelation 21:8 that all liars, murderers, and idolaters will have their part in the lake of fire. Scary, isn’t it? I’m not condemning you, because I’m in the same predicament. We’ll have to face God’s wrath on Judgement Day.

I’d like to tell you a little about God’s judgement. He is so perfect and so holy, that hatred to Him is as strong as murder, and a little “white lie” is a capital crime! According to His impossibly high standards, there is no earthly way we can get to heaven. We have to be punished. Let’s say you’re in a courtroom. You’ve murdered many, many innocent people in a horrible way. You deserve death. What is the judge going to do? If he is a good, just, and righteous judge, he will punish you. James 2:10 says, “For whoever keeps the whole law, and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.” In God’s eyes, every sin, no matter how small, is wrong. To Him, if you’ve broken even the tiniest part of His law, you’ve broken it all. As I stated before, to Him, hatred is as strong as murder. So even if you haven’t murdered many innocent people in a horrible way, you’ve more than likely told lies, stolen something, loved something more than God, or hated someone before. And that is sin. The Bible says in Leviticus 17:11 that sin must be atoned for by the shedding of blood. Fortunately, it doesn’t have to be our blood. In the Old Testament, sin was covered by the sacrifice of animals. And not just any animal; it had to be the best. No spots, no blemishes, nothing. It had to be perfect. Is that what it takes for us to be forgiven? Do we still have to sacrifice an animal, even in these modern times?

No, because Jesus paid the price. He was God’s perfect Lamb. He had no spot or blemish made by sin. He was holy and pure. He lived a sinless life on earth, and he was tortured and hung on a cross in our place. He was the ultimate Sacrifice. All of our sin was atoned for on that day, upon His death. Remember the court case? Suppose the judge just gave you your sentence . . . it would be the death penalty. You’re on your way out of the courthouse to receive your punishment. Your eyes are downcast, and your spirit is broken with the awful reality that you face death. All of a sudden, someone steps into your path. He turns to the judge and whispers, “I’ll take the punishment for this person.” After the judge wonderingly agrees, this amazingly loving man turns his compassionate eyes to you, and you find yourself lost in his love. He dies in your place, when it should have been you. How incomprehensible is that? The Bible says in John 15:13, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friend.” Jesus is the Man who laid down His life for you. He took the punishment in your place. He stepped into your path to hell and kindly explained, “I’ll take your crime on My shoulders because I love you. You are My child, and I would rather die Myself than have you die without Me beside you. Believe in Me; accept my gift of life, and you will have everlasting life with Me in Heaven.” Jesus was the blood sacrifice for our sins. He was the one who atoned for every time we broke His law. He bridged the gap between God and us so that we’d have a chance to have a relationship with Him both now and for all eternity. All we have to do is accept Him, and Heaven is our destiny after death.

In conclusion, I’d like to point out a few Bible verses that go hand in hand with my speech. We are not “good” people. Mark 10:18b says “No one is good - except God alone.” Romans 3:23 states, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” We looked at God’s moral standard for our lives. We are not even close to reaching His goal, which is why we deserve judgement: God’s judgement. We can’t cleanse ourselves. There’s no way whatsoever that we can get into heaven on our own. A blood sacrifice is required to cover our sins. The first part of Romans 6:23 says “For the wages of sin is death...” That’s what we deserve...death. I’m not talking about earthly death. That’s nothing compared to this. I’m talking about eternal death...an everlasting Lake of Fire. It’s either Heaven or Hell...and your sins have to be punished. Are they punished in Heaven? Certainly not. However, Jesus did something so that we don’t have to go to the “Lake of Fire.” He paid the price in our place. No, He didn’t go to Hell for us, but He took all of our sins on His perfect shoulders. He bore them on the cross. He was separated from God, His father, which was even worse than anything we could ever imagine. He died on that cross willingly, knowing He was saving the entire world. But He didn’t stay dead. On the third day, He was resurrected from the grave! Even death could not hold the Savior down! Remember the verse, Romans 6:23, where the first part said, “For the wages of sin is death...”? The second part of that verse says, “...but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord!” John 3:16 sums it all up: “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.” By His Grace, and His Grace alone we are saved! So the question is...Do you know for a fact, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that you will go to heaven when you die? It’s the most serious matter there is. I sure don’t want to fool around with eternal Hell, do you? So you’d better get it straight. God is pleading with you to come to Him. Don’t let Him down after what He did for you. All you have to do is tell Jesus that you understand that you’re a hopelessly lost sinner. Ask Him to forgive you for every time you’ve broken His law. Next, tell Him you believe with all your heart that He died on the cross for your sins, and that He was resurrected from the grave. Finally, Acts 2:21 says, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” Call on His name. Accept His sacrifice for your sins and live with Him in Heaven forever.

For Melissa, Chris, Mom, and well...me.

2009-02-14T11:49:00.000-05:00

Quote of the Day

2009-01-31T01:21:00.001-05:00

"I don't see what the big deal is. Just a bunch of men in tights and hard hats playing in the dirt."
-Carlton Lassiter ("Psych") on football

Another contribution to YouTubeland...

2009-01-25T22:40:00.001-05:00

...but it's really worth it.

Quote of the Day

2009-01-10T12:14:00.002-05:00

"We often misspeak out of convinence."

-Dad (he said "...and you can quote me on that!")

Quote of the Day

2009-01-08T12:51:00.001-05:00

"Earthly rewards make consumerism a popular religion."

-Hobbes (Calvin & Hobbes)

Smile :)

2009-01-05T17:52:00.002-05:00

This was on my potato. I think I should sell it on ebay for a gajillion dollars.

January? Sure doesn't seem like it...

2009-01-05T11:45:00.002-05:00

Why are our trees budding in JANUARY?!?!? The obvious answer: we live in Georgia.

Sent from my iPhone

2008-12-26T20:21:00.001-05:00

The title says it all. Email me for my number! :)

-Sent from my iPhone

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

2008-12-24T23:10:00.002-05:00

God bless you and yours this Christmas and year to come!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Official Braceface

2008-12-17T12:48:00.001-05:00

That's MY King!

2008-12-14T10:02:00.001-05:00

Amen!

Santa brings "Daddy" home

2008-12-09T21:14:00.002-05:00

This is precious...

By the way, sorry about the ad before it-nothing I can do.

NYC, Day three

2008-12-04T23:48:00.000-05:00

NYC, Day two

2008-12-04T00:51:00.001-05:00

NYC, Day one

2008-12-02T22:29:00.001-05:00

The Snoopy/robot/whatever we can think of dance

2008-11-29T11:30:00.003-05:00

The best tour guide EVER!

2008-11-28T18:52:00.003-05:00

"This is a tour, not a funeral. When you see something amazing, you do not sit there like a rock. You react. You say, 'Wow', 'Amazing', 'Look at that!', 'Oh my gosh!', 'Holy moly!', 'HONEY!', 'BABY!', 'MOM!' 'DAD'!!!!"

-Mamadou, the best tour guide in the world.

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T22:32:00.002-05:00

Well, by law, you have to do a post on Thanksgiving and all other major holidays...so...happy Thanksgiving!